The Dreaded Question Mark?

My life is one big question mark. My husband's job is changing and we are not sure where God is calling us to change. Is He calling us to stay put and embrace the new adventure of a new job, or is He calling us to relocate and embrace the new adventure of a new community? Both are scary. Both are sad. Both are titillating. But for all the things they both are, only one thing is clear, neither of them are clear!

I don't do well with question marks. It saps my energy, and makes me moody. The house doesn't get clean, the dinners don't get planned. I don't send back the paperwork sent home, or give the kids baths. Work is ignored, and even time with friends is avoided. I just can't find the energy to live energetically when my future is out of focus.

But honestly, it's not out of focus. God just has not given me the lens to see yet. God knows where He is calling us. God knows where our kids will thrive and our marriage deepen. God knows where Joshua will be the biggest blessing to foster kids. And God knows where I need to be to be pressed and pulled into fuller relationship with him. There are no question marks to God. There are no fuzzy outcomes.

All of life is a gift (as I'm trying to learn). Even these question marks and all the ones that will come after these. He holds back clarity not to frustrate but to care and prune. He keeps things fuzzy to develop character and dependance.

So today I can press into the questions marks and be glad...well gladness at this stage might be asking too much, but I can at least be thankful. Thankful that nothing is a question mark to the Lord and that nothing (not even a bad choice) can separate me from His love or provision.

So what is my task in these days of decision? I think it is to fling my questions marks about the future onto the Lord and run with energy in the present, to live fully in today.

Maybe leaving the ?'s to the Lord will lead to a clean kitchen and bread made...sigh. We shall see.

Mind-Binding Quote of the Day-OUCH!

Pondering this today:

"We have the blessed Holy Spirit present, and we are treating Him as if He were not present at all. We resist Him, disobey Him, quench Him and compromise with our hearts. We hear a sermon about Him and determine to learn more and do something about it. Our conviction wears off, and soon we go back to the same old dead level we were in before. We resist the blessed Comforter. He has come to comfort. He has come to teach. He is the Spirit of instruction. He has come to bring light for He is the Spirit of light. He comes to bring purity for He is the Spirit of holiness. He comes to bring power for He is the Spirit of power...We would like to be full of the Spirit and yet go on and do as we please. The Holy Spirit who inspired the Scriptures will expect obedience to the Scriptures, and if we do not obey the Scriptures, we will quench Him. This Spirit will have obedience—but people do not want to obey the Lord. Everyone is as full as he wants to be. Everyone has as much of God as he desires to have. There is a fugitive impulse that comes to us, in spite of what we ask for when we pray in public, or even in private. We want the thrill of being full, but we don’t want to meet the conditions. We just don’t want to be filled badly enough to be filled...If there is anything in your life more demanding than your longing after God, then you will never be a Spirit-filled Christian. I have met Christians who have been wanting to be filled, in a vague sort of way, for many years. The reason they have not been filled with the Spirit is because they have other things they want more. God does not come rushing into a human heart unless He knows that He is the answer and fulfillment to the greatest, most overpowering desire of that life."

A.W Tozer

Ouch Ouch Ouch Ouch Ouch Ouch Ouch

What do I want more than I want the Lord? Many things. Am I guilty of wanting the fullness of the Spirit for my own vain purposes? Sadly, yes. 

Spirit of the Living Holy God, win this rocky, weak, dumb heart.

Mind-Binding Quote of the Day-A Storm is Coming

I've been feeling like I'm in the middle of a few storms right now.

A Storm in my funding (I'm in a deficit)
A Storm in conversations around the philosophy and ideology of Small Groups and their purpose.
A Storm in the parenting of a three year old who only seems to know how to yell and scream in response to all parenting strategies. And in the parenting of a four year old who dissolves into tears at the smallest thing. And in the parenting of a seven year old who sometimes has the attitude of a 15 year old with a romantic sensibility to match.

Storms make me angry. They make me weary, and eventually they make me despair.

But in the book, "Under the Unpredictable Plant" by Eugene Peterson, I find a different perspective on storms, and a different perspective on myself. Peterson is unpacking the story of Jonah in the book and using Jonah's story to help ministers understand their own story.

Jonah faced a big storm (Jonah 1), one that got him thrown overboard by his ship mates. Peterson compares Jonah's reaction to his storm with Paul's reaction to a similar storm in Acts 27. One of the biggest differences between the two ministers is that one faces his storm with prayer, and one does not. Peterson concludes the chapter by saying this about prayer:

Prayer is the connecting thread binding these sea storm stories; prayer is the articulation of human response to the word of God, the word that creates and saves. The sea storms that call into question our vocations turn out to be the means of vocational recovery. They expose us to what we cannot manage. We are returned to primordial chaos...where we submit our lives to the world-making word of God. These storms are not simply bad weather; they are the exposure of our lives to the brooding, hovering wind/spirit of God. In the storm we are reduced to what is elemental, and the ultimate elemental is God. And so prayer emerges as the single act that has to do with God. Our vocations are God-called, God-shaped lifework. The moment we drift away from dealing with God primarily (and not merely peripherally), we are no longer living vocationally, no longer living in conscious, willing participatory relation with the vast reality that constitutes our lives and the entire world around us. The storm either exposes the futility of our work (as in Jonah) or confirms it (as in Paul). In either case, the storm forces the awareness that God constitutes our work, and it disabuses us of any suggestion that in our work we can avoid or manipulate God. Once that is established we are ready to learn the spirituality that is adequate to our vocation, working truly, easily, fearlessly, without ambition or anxiety, without denial or sloth.

These storms, all storms actually, are good for me. They remind me that I am not God-no matter how hard I try- and storms make me STOP and acknowledge that I'm acting god-like. Storms hopefully press me to pray because there is only one Being in my world who can calm the storm. And that is the real and Living God.

I would encourage you to check out this book-if you are a minister, a parent or a human. We all have a calling in the kingdom-we all have a vocation. Every page so far has deeply blessed my understanding of my own vocation.

The Brat Returns: When Prayer is Hard

I have been spending time in the Psalms lately. There is a blog I check in on called MamaMonk. And she has a post about how she stays connected to God. I was challenged by her thoughts and have been trying out her connection plan.

This plan ran me right into Psalm 21 and right into a pocket of my heart that stays shoved out of sight-hidden from others, myself, and I like to pretend, God.

This Psalm is a happy one. Full of celebration and praise to the God who provides. Here is how it starts:

O Lord, the king rejoices in your strength.

How great is his joy in the victories you give!

You have granted him the desire of his heart 

and have not withheld the request of his lips.

As I continued to read about all God had done in the life of this king my heart became increasingly sad, and this part of myself that I ignore and stuff out of sight, started to surface and overwhelm me. 

There are two things that I've asked for over the past 10 years. Two things that God has seemingly ignored. I know this is bad theology, I know that I might not be asking for good stuff, or more correctly, the right stuff. But in the area of prayer and relationship this is a hard thing for me. I feel abandoned. I read these verses and scoff. This may be true for some, but not for me. 

This hidden saddness sucks the power and energy out of my prayer life. When I'm praying for others, this part of me is detached and distant from their needs. When I'm praying bold prayers, this pocket fears and sweats. When I'm pressing toward God with a full trust, there is this part of me that leans away,  a part that says, "What's the point of praying...He is just going to do what He wants."

I stayed here a few days-Annoyed, saddened and tired of ignoring this part of myself. 

Then I revisited Psalm 21, and things were different. I was still sad, but God showed up and as I read the verses (that days before had highlighted my unanswered need) this time through, God used them to remind me of all the prayers He has answered. He pressed close into this distant part of my heart and comforted my sadness in the areas still left unanswered. And He guided me to a verse I had overlooked days before-verse 6.

Surely You have granted him eternal blessings

and made him glad with the joy of Your Presence.

God has not answered all my prayers, and I will keep praying for these two things and more until He responses, but God has granted me the desire of my heart. He has given me Himself. He has made Himself fully present to me, and has clothed me with the righteousness of His Son so that I can be fully present to Him (hidden junk and all). And that fuels my prayers. That He is here, always here, close to me. And He is paying attention.

Creation, Incarnation, Crucifixion, Resurrection-His Love Endures Forever

Psalm 136
By Allison King

Black
Blank
Light
breaks:
His love endures forever.

Sky
formed
Earth
born:
His love endures forever.

To him alone
who
breathed me, breathed you:
His love endures forever

Sin brings death
God now flesh*:
His love endures forever.

Perfection walks among,
Illustrates Anointed One:
His love endures forever.

Skin breaks
as
Thin steaks
force their way through flesh:
His love endures forever.

He
cries
Then
dies:
His love endures forever.

Black
Blank
Hope
Sank:
His love endures forever.

Days change
Spirit flames
He renames
Death,
Life:
His love endures forever.

 *In more current versions of this poem this line is changed to "God in Flesh" based on the poet's own theological understanding of incarnation developing. However I first heard and fell in love with this poem in it's first "draft" and that is the one I'm posting. Thanks Ace for letting me use it.

In Honor of Good Friday, & the Few Faithful at the Cross

Funeral Blues

by W.H. Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,

Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,

Silence the pianos and with muffled drum 

Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead

Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,

Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public dove,

Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,

My working week and my Sunday rest, 

My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;

I thought that love would last for ever : I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now : put out every one;

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;

Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood; 

For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Lent, Suffering and The Tortures of Taking Sabbath

I've been reflecting on the parent stylings of Mary, Mother of our Lord and Savior, Jesus.

Reflecting on her experience at the foot of the cross.

Challenged by her ability to watch her son accused and tortured, staying silent, trusting Jesus to God.

And then, after all this is done. After Jesus is dead. Mary doesn't stay and watch over his body-like I would. She doesn't linger in her grief. She leaves Jesus' body to a religious leader,  whose name  happens to be Joseph, and goes home to get ready for the Sabbath.

Mary's relationship with her God is so strong and grounded that even the death of her son does not throw the rhythm of her faith. It doesn't takes precedent over her following the good and whole discipline of taking rest, as her God commanded her to.

Too often my kids become my little gods. Too often I put my love for them, my hopes for them, my passion for their happiness and success over my love, hope and passion for God and His kingdom. Too often I bow to the demons of materialism, selfish ambition, and pride in order to give them the life they ask for or that I am convinced they need. And I have to be honest that I would struggle with the Lord if one of my kids got sick or worse. My relationship with Him would become much more "complicated."

But as a mommy of little ones I wonder how Mary pressed into God the Father while Jesus was young. I wonder about her life and her faith when Jesus is just born and shepherds come and tell about the angels. When she takes Him to the temple to be circumcised and Simeon tells her that Jesus will cause the thoughts of many hearts to be revealed and that a sword will pierce her soul. I wonder how she moves toward God when the wise men come and offer the gifts. When she and Joseph and Jesus are refugees in Egypt. When they lose Jesus, only to find Him at the temple. I wonder how she took each of these moments and cultivated a faith life that was not centered on her son, but was centered on her God.

I wonder about those things and I ask God to cultivate a Mary heart in me.

I pray that the Father, Son, Spirit God would be my one consuming passion, and that He would teach me now, in the littleness of my mommy life, to put my relationship with Him above my relationship with my kids. And that no matter what comes in their lives or in mine, that at the end of the day, the end of the week, the end of my life, I'll be able to leave my Cecilia, my Gareth and my little Audrey in the hands of their True Parent, and take my rest.

Lent, Suffering, and the Dreaded Justin Beiber Fan Club

Yesterday I started a post series on Mary and her compelling parenting.

I've been dwelling on her place at the cross-on how Mary suffered there too. In a way, She suffered Jesus' suffering, and His suffering saved the world.

Watching a clip from "The Passion of Christ" and reading the Biblical account of Christ's passion has convinced me that Mary was a good parent. Not surprising right. I mean God did pick her to parent His one and only Son. And reading about her silent presence at the cross leads me to believed that she parented Jesus in a way that blessed Him, prepared Him for the cross.

At Cecilia's school there is a group of little girls who like to exclude. Occasionally, they use recess to "play" Justin Beiber Fan Club. I don't know what 6 and 7 year old girls do to play JBFC, but play they do, and Cecilia is not invited to join in. She does not own any JB clothes or lunch boxes. She is in essence not a fan, and therefore not included.

On nights when she is hurting from being excluded my heart wants action and justice. It wants to dislike those little girls, it wants to email her teacher or other mothers and put a stop to such silliness (which is silliness in itself).  At the very least it wants to tell Cecilia how much better it is not to be a JB fan and build her up.

But this heart is not an excellent heart. And it is not a good parent either.

This hurt is small, but as my kids grow, the hurts will too. They will be excluded from significant things. They will be misused by others, denied opportunities, hurt by brokenness. If the fullness of my hopes for them come about, and they each walk into a passionate relationship with God, they will have to die to themselves, and that hurts. And I will have to make a choice.

As a mom I have considerable power both in the world of my kids and in their hearts. And it is important that I am learning even in these small hurts of little-dom to follow the Spirit. I must ask how my parenting of her exclusion from a silly club now is preparing her for suffering with Christ later. And preparing me to suffer her suffering. Because Paul tells me loud and clear- To know Christ, really know Him and live in the fullness of that knowledge means my kids will have to suffer.

And I have to fight tooth and nail against the compulsion to protect my kiddo's from all hurt, to dry all tears, to work out their lives so that they live in happiness and peace-as if I even have this power.  I have to start preparing each of them now to take up their cross and to follow Christ. Not to run from pain, or attack when hurt, or to avoid suffering, but to trust themselves to their Good and True Parent. And I have to start preparing myself for the wild, glorious and painful ride that God is hopefully going to take my Cecilia, my Gareth, and my little Audrey on.

Lent, Suffering and the Parenting Example of Mary

A couple of Sundays ago, my pastor showed a clip from "The Passion of Christ." The clip showed one of the times that Christ was beaten and God used it to show me some hard things about myself which I wrote about in an earlier post.

But something else struck me while I was watching this clip. Jesus isn't the only one who suffered the cross. His mother Mary was there the whole time.

Please don't get me wrong. I know that the suffering our Lord endured on the cross was the most intense suffering humanity has ever known, but I think it is right to consider Mary's suffering there as well. Can you imagine what it was like to gaze upon your child in such agony? When I see my kids stumble and skin a knee my stomach turns. To see them tortured and killed...I can't comprehend that.

In the movie clip her presence gives Jesus focus and strength. He makes eye contact with her, and stands up to take more from the Roman thugs. And she stands there and silently watches her first born take the lashes that belonged to me, that belonged to the world, that belonged to herself. 

You might be thinking, "Yeah but that is just the movie..." Although when I read the biblical account, I'm drawn to the same conclusion: she was there, and she was silent.

Her parenting challenges me considerably. She doesn't shout out. She doesn't demand justice for her son. She entrusts Jesus to her heavenly Father. And when all is said and done, when her little boy is dead, she doesn't take care of Him. She doesn't stand guard over His dead body. She goes home, and takes the Sabbath rest that her God commands her to.

This leads me to two thoughts:

1. I firmly believed that Mary parented Jesus in a way that blessed Him, prepared Him for the cross.
2. Her love for her child does not define her relationship with her God

The next two posts will unpack these two ideas more.

But until then, how are you challenged by the parenting of Jesus' earthly mom?

Fearing God-Holiness according to Tozer and Lewis

I've been spending a few post talking about God's holiness.

A.W Tozer seems to have written a lot about the holiness of God. This quote helps me to dig into God's holiness in a fuller way--

"Holy is the way God is. To be holy he does not conform to a standard. He is that standard. He is absolutely holy with an infinite, incomprehensible fullness of purity that is incapable of being other than it is. Because he is holy, all his attributes are holy; that is, whatever we think of as belonging to God must be thought of as holy."  

A.W Tozer

This really challenges me not to ignore God's holiness, but to consider it and discipline myself into knowing God as a Holy God. Tozer is telling us that we can't even consider God's love, His peace, or any part of Him without putting it through this filter of His holiness. I know that I don't naturally do this because when I ask myself what it means that God is Holy, the concept still seems foreign and vague. But without grasping and internalizing His holiness, I will never fully get His other attributes.


And lastly CS Lewis said this about holiness:

"How little people know who think that holiness is dull. When one meets the real thing, it is irresistible”

I think I worry that the opposite of this statement is true. That God's holiness is stuffy and will bore me, but that isn't true. That is false thinking. True holiness is intriging and refreshing!

How well do you know the Holiness of God?

Fearing God-Holiness (Mother Teresa and Dirty Robes)

I've been thinking about what it means to fear God. Isaiah 6 is helping my heart to understand the God whom invites me to fear Him, and yesterday I talked a bit about the first attribute of God that we see in the passage, God's Holiness, and how that holiness draws me closer to Him.

But this holiness makes me pause as well. When I really consider it, think about a God who is completely different, wholly other-I am humiliated (in the best idea of the word).

I can't love like He loves. I always will love others because I want something in return. I will always think about my own self-interest in a relationship. I can strive to be like Him, but in the end the best of me doesn't even get close to comparing to His greatness.

The passage illustrates this in verse one. It says that Isaiah sees the Living God on a throne, and the train of His robe is filling up the temple. The temple was the best that Israel had to offer. It's beauty and glory brought people from all over the ancient world to see it. It was the a high point in the history of the people of God-a place where they were the obedient and generous in their constructing God's dwelling place on earth.

And the train of God's robe easily fills it up.

The train of a robe is the lowest part of the garment, and subsequently when you are imagining someone garbed in a robe with a train, the train is the lowest point of that person. Dragging on the ground, getting dusty. See the idea with this image. The "lowest" part of God is so far beyond the best part of Israel that it fills it up, consumes it with His glory.

I think about the best that modern Christianity has to offer and I think about Mother Teresa. I'm having a love affair with her right now. Everything I read about her fascinates and challenges me. She understood what it meant to know Jesus and that deep and real knowledge pressed her to care for the poorest of the world's poor. And still the amazing Mother Teresa comes no where close to the hem of God's glorious robe.

Who are your hero's of faith? Billy Graham? Elizabeth Elliot? Jim Wallis? The best of the best. But when compared to the Best that is God all that we have to offer is consumed by His best-ness.

I can see why Paul said that the best parts of himself, of all of us, are basically crap. Because compared to a HOLY God-well you can't compare anything to a Holy God, there is no comparison.

And that is humiliating. That gives me perspective. That calls me to respect and reverence.

"Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty

and the whole earth is full of His Glory"

Fearing God-Holiness (The Good News)

A passage of scripture that is helping me cultivate a fearful and reverent heart toward God is Isaiah 6.

 ¹ In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and exalted, seated on a throne; and the train of his robe filled the temple. ² Above him were seraphim, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. ³ And they were calling to one another:
   “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty;
   the whole earth is full of his glory."

Here we see one of the main descriptors of God in the Bible-Holy.

But what does it mean that God is Holy?

The "holy" used to describe God means "set apart" or I think of it as "wholly other", completely different. And this is actually a great thing about God, one that draws me more fully into His embrace.

All the junk that goes here, all the things that happen to me that I hate. All the drama I end up in that I want free from, all the ways that people break me and I break others. God is wholly above that. He is completely different. He doesn’t approach me to use me for His own advantage. He doesn’t try to consume me for Himself, and He doesn’t hold a grudge against me for all the ways I’ve screwed up. He is set apart from all that. 

He is wholly other, set so apart from us and our world, that we don't have to worry about Him abusing us the way others here have abused. When we think of His fatherhood (especially if we have had lousy fathers) we can press into the fact that He is a wholly different, a completely perfect Father, and we can rest in this bold and new Fatherhood. That His holy Love is completely different that any love I've experienced. Being in a relationship with Him is so wholly refreshing because I'm not having to wade through His junk, his insecurities. He is Holy, set apart, completely different, and His holy love is freeing to my soul.

How does thinking about God (His love, His peace, His hope) as wholly other bring you refreshment and freedom?

Lent, Suffering, and giving my Husband the Silent Treatment

I'm taking a break from writing about fearing God to talk about silent suffering.

This week the sermon at my church was powerful.

My pastor (Dodd) spoke out of 1 Peter 2:18-25. His call to suffer as Christ suffered was challenging! But then he took it to a whole other place. He showed a clip from "The Passion of Christ." And not the "oh look, Jesus built a chair" clip, he choose the section where Jesus is getting beaten by the Roman soldiers.

Something powerful happened in me while I watched that clip. I was reminded of moments in my marriage over the past three weeks where Joshua wounded me, "wronged" me, and I was sickened at my response. Each of these acts, that I deemed un-loving, were varying degrees of silly and all of them small. Joshua has also confessed where he needed to and we have talked through each of them. But what I did in the moment is what the Lord used to overwhelm me.

I used each of these moments as an excuses to lash out and tell Joshua exactly what I thought of his "mistake." I spoke to him with hostile tones and careless words. To put it into simple language- I was disrespectful and un-submissive.

As I watched this clip of my wonderful Lord getting beaten, I was so shamed by His silence. I was so humbled by His restraint and control, by His ability to "entrust Himself to God who judges justly." (1 Peter 2:23). Here Christ was innocently beaten and He did not make sure that his attackers knew the mistake they were making. I was moved to tears and confession.

Somewhere along the way, I have convinced myself that if I am "wronged" I must take up the charge and defend myself. At some point, I put myself in charge of taking care of myself, especially when it comes to getting the marriage I want, the life I feel I deserve. But I'm not in charge of taking care of me. When I came into a relationship with God, I gave this right over to Him-My True Father, My True King.

But I still live much of my life in the gear of "it's up to me; I have to take care of myself." And when I hit into hard moment with Joshua or the kids or work, I don't know how to downshift into the more life giving gear of "it's up to God; He will have to take up my case." It normally takes a blowout fight to get me to call out to God for help. My disrespect is really a sign that I don't live for the kingdom of God, that I live for the kingdom of Lee. It reveals that in my heart I don't trust God fully with my whole life, and that I think I can take better care of life than He can.

Respecting others comes from a deep understanding that God, all Powerful and Good, will take up your case. That He is on the move in others and in the world, and that if we follow the dynamic and difficult example of our big brother Jesus, then He will be glorified and we will be taken care of-embraced into the fullness of God's pleasure and made like Christ.

So I need to learn to give Josh the silent treatment when I feel disrespect bubbling up. I need to learn to press into my Just Judge and let Him deal with how I am "wronged." And I need to learn to be like the Spirit and say only that which flows from my Father.

Fearing God- A Quote

"The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge"

                 Proverbs 1:7                          

As I was reading about fearing God, I came across this quote:

“ that mingled fear and love which, combined, constitute the piety of man toward God; the OT places its emphasis on the fear, the NT...on the love, though there was love in the fear of God’s saints then, as there must be fear in their love now” (Vine's Expository Dictionary quoting Trench's New Testament's Synonyms-pg 230).

Love and fear have always been connected. They've always worked together to make us into whole people. Together (and only together really) our love for God and our reverent fear of Him press us toward His fullness and toward our good and right end—our ultimate goal-being made like Christ. 

Somewhere along the way we stopped allowing these two to be mingled. We want to focus more on the loving nature of our relationship with God, and not on the qualities of God that demand our profound respect. And that produces an arrogant people. Because without fear, we begin to think that God's love and mercy, His Grace, is our right. Without a healthy understanding and practice of Fearing God, we start acting entitled in our sin, annoyed in our suffering, lazy in our service. 

I experienced this over the past week. My home group at church is studying peace and what it means to really know peace with God and experience the peace of God. Romans 5 is one of the places we've been camping out. "Therefore since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand." vs 1-2

To have peace now means we were once at war with God. Tim Keller puts it like this: 

"When we disobey God, there are two things that happen. You not only break His law, but you assume the right or authority to do so; you claim kingship over yourself and your world. But God claims kingship over the same thing. Whenever two parties claim absolute (kingly) control over something, there is war."

How does this apply to fearing the Lord?

When I read about my peace with God, my gut reaction is this, "You bet there's peace with me and God! He is loving. He loves me. Christ died so I could be reconciled to Him. He has to be at peace with me." To get the full effect you need to imagine me saying that with a slightly smug, slightly annoyed look on my face. 

In my gunked up heart, I feel I have a right to peace with God because He is loving. But when I press myself toward fearing the Lord, toward this other, bigger understand of Him, then I am humbled and overwhelmed by this peace I have with God. I am deeply grateful to my big brother, Jesus, who ended the war between me and my good King. I am brought to the throne and I worship with tears and joy.

Fearing God-The Definition

"The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge"

 Proverbs 1:7                              

Yesterday, I wrote about what fear of the Lord is not.  That post begs this post.

What does it mean to fear God?

There are two Hebrew words used when writers talked about this fear in the Hebrew Bible (our Old Testament). One means "the fear of being before a superior kind of being. Usually it is used to describe the reaction evoked in men by God's mighty works of destruction and sovereignty." The other communicates a reverence. (Vine's Expository Dictionary, pg 80)

Reverence here is the ticket, and I think that most of us would quickly come to this word when talking or answering questions about what it means to fear God.

But I don't know that I really understand what reverence means.

Merriam-Webster defines reverence as a "profound adoring awed respect." 

So fearing the Lord is a deeply humbled worshipful respect of Who God is and what He can do. Holy reverent fear produces a quiet heart not a worried one. It makes us knell and produces gratefulness and peace. This type of fear can also hold us back from sin. It can make us tremble, not because we are scared, but more because we are overwhelmed with how GREAT our God is.

This definition makes me wonder who and what I do revere. Who's life, who's presence, who's work makes me feel adoration and respect. How often do I feel this when I'm spending time with God? Is this reverence rooted in my love for Him?

What do you revere? What humbles you about Who God is?

Fearing God-What It's NOT...

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge"

 Proverbs 1:7

"Now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

1 Corinthians 13:13

 I have been writing about Fearing God over the past few posts. And before I move on to talk about what it looks like and why we should fear God, I want to clear up what it is not. 

Fearing God is not being afraid of God.

My favorite professor talked about this once when he was talking about our motivation to be holy people, and the motivation that we (it was a seminary class for IV staff) used to call our students to live holy lives.  

He said there are three good motivators laid out in the gospel: Faith, hope and love. But the most common things we used to motivate ourselves and our students were: Guilt, shame and death.

This resonated with me. I stayed "pure" before marriage because of the deep guilt I felt when I went too far. I was kind to people and active in my IV chapter in college because I thought God was deeply ashamed of me. I was good in high school because I knew my mom would kill me if I wasn't (smile). In the end these motivators did not produce great life, and they pushed me far from my Father's embrace. They also fortified some false pride and superiority that God is still cutting out of my life.

But as I've grown closer to the Lord, as I've learned more and more about His heart, I have come to understand the deep energy that can come from being motivated out of His faithfulness to me and my faith in Him and His beauty. I've seen the long lasting fruit of things that I pursue because of the hope I have in my big brother Christ Jesus. And the freeing, overwhelming, and whole giving life I can live when I center myself in His love.

The Fear of the Lord is centered in these things too. Faith, hope and love. Holy fear is rooted in them.

So when you think about fearing God, and you start to feel anxiety, or shame, or you start to getting worried when you imagine meeting this BIG and Powerful God, you need to stop. Take a breath.

That is not appropriate fear. Not when fearing the True God. Not if you have a relationship with Him through His Son.

Try this exercise: turn to the first part of this Faith, Hope and Love verse (1 Corinthians 13). Read the chapter. When Paul writes love, replace it with God, and at the end of each phrase in verses 4-13 apply it to yourself. i.e. "God is patient with me, God is kind toward me..."

And press into the faith, hope and love that is yours through the completed work of Jesus.

"Now these three remain: faith, hope and God. Let the greatest of these in my life be God."

Where are you motivated by guilt, shame, or death?

Fearing God-The Blame Game

We had a rough week here at the Simmons Spot.

Joshua's job has changed and the transition has been rough for the kids and the mom, and the dad.

This has especially shown up in Cecilia's behavior at school. She has had several bad days, a note home, and some email exchanges between her teacher and myself.

When Cecilia and I were talking about what was behind this bad (and out of character) behavior, she said this, word for word: "Well Mom, I hate to say this, but it's really your fault that I had such a bad day. YOU are the one who let me stay up late, and that is why I was bad."

Now just to clarify. I did let her stay up 45 minutes later than normal. The night before had been the only night in the week where Joshua was home. So I let the kids stay up to spend time with their Dad. I stand behind the choice that time with her Dad was more important that getting to bed on time.

Her statement instantly reminded me of others.

"Well, I hate to say it, but the woman YOU gave me caused this mess!"

"Well, I hate to bring it up, but the serpent YOU created tricked me."

"Well, it's awkward to harp on it, but the wilderness YOU led us into is just too hard, the people YOU have brought us up against are just too mighty, the gods in the land that YOU brought us into are just too inciting."

And so on it goes through the history of the Hebrew people and on into the early church and right up into my life.

"Well God, if YOU would just give us more income, we would give more away."

"Well, I don't bring this up often, but YOU are the one who made me unorganized. It was YOUR idea to make me a verbal processor."

"Well I wasn't the one who knit these little ones together God. That was all YOU. I mean can YOU blame me for yelling."

And it goes on and on.

But blaming God points me to the thing I've been writing about in the past few posts. It points to my lack of fear. I might blame someone I was afraid of, but I would not dream of blaming my junk, my limitation and my sinfulness on a ruler whom I deeply feared. Whom I fearfully loved. Whom I REALLY and fearfully knew.

Why do you think YOU blame God when you fall short?

Fearing God-The Obstacle (at least one of them)...

"The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge..."

Proverbs 1:7

^"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

1 John 4:18

If the OT tells us over and over to fear God, how can the NT tells us that perfect love drives out fear?

In my last post I talked about how I struggle to connect with the idea of fearing the Lord. One of the reasons I struggle is because of some baggage I have left over from before I came to Christ.

I spent a good part of my younger life deeply worried about my relationship with God. I was scared that my faith was not strong enough to save me, I was anxious that God was deeply disappointed in me. I was afraid of the Lord, but I did not fear him.

Over the years God has taught me about true faith, and about His heart for me. He has convinced me that the work of His son has brought peace between Him and me, and that I am his beloved child.

I am convinced of these things. They are the foundation to my life and my love of God, and I don't want to go back to the way things were between God and myself. I don't want my relationship with Him to be defined by anxiety and worry. And anxiety and worry is what comes to my mind when I hear "Fear the Lord!" So I avoid the idea altogether.

But my baggage should not define my understanding of God or my movement toward Him. I can't start with my past junk and let that inform my understanding of fearing the Lord. I have to start with Who God is--who He has proved Himself to be in the person of Jesus Christ, who He proves Himself to be in the testimony of scripture, & who He is proving himself to be in my life. I also have to start with what the Bible calls me to. And I have to let those two things unpack my baggage & release me from it.

So if the Hebrew Bible (our Old Testament) tells me to fear the Lord, and 1 John tells me that love drives out fear, I need to admit that I'm not thinking correctly about what fearing God looks like. I need to come to my good and gracious God and ask Him to show me the right way to fear Him.

What keeps you from moving toward understanding and practicing a healthy fear of the Lord?

Fearing God-The Invitation

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge"

Proverbs 1:7

In my last post I wrote about my need to grow in the area of fearing the Lord. This actually hit me square in the face when a friend issued an invitation to me.

This part of knowing God-the fearing part- is really hard for me to connect to.

I follow God because of His love for me, His closeness and intimacy. I was won to Him because through scripture, my InterVarsity staff, and some crisis moments, He convinced me that He knew me, the real me. That He saw through all the masks I had put up, all the "good deeds" that others saw. He saw straight into the REAL LEE. The junked up, gross, ugly Lee and He loved her. He saw beauty. He saw glory. He saw what I could be in Him.

And I was won. I was forgiven and changed. Devoted to the God who loves me so completely, even though He knows all there is to know about me.

Back to fearing the LORD. 

Recently I hit into this problem area of fearing God. I was studying scripture with other IV staff and the passage was highlighting some of God's more severe qualities. I was skimming, annoyed waiting for the questions to swing back to grace and love. This posture of mine troubled me, so I asked a friend to talk about it. I told him about my lack of fearing the Lord. My annoyance with the topic when I came across it in scripture. And my honest distress that this is who I was.

This was his response:

"You know Lee, God won you by knowing you completely and still loving you perfectly. I think it is time for you to return the favor." 

And I agree with Him. It is time for me to return this gracious favor.

Time to know God better. 

Fearing God-The Confession

It is about 6 o’clock on a chilly morning. I am awakened all of the sudden for no apparent reason, and as I’m trying to settle down to go back to sleep, I hear the Lord’s invitation to get up and pray with Him. I look at the clock, consider the chill, and as I’m rolling over I say, “Sorry God, why don't you come back in 30 minutes, we'll pray then.” I drift back to sleep.

Rewind about a year and I’m standing in my new church having just taken communion. The week had been really hard. A crisis of faith had left me feeling worn thin and bruised. The pastor of my church gets up and says, “Sometimes taking communion can cause some intense things to come up. If you need to, the elders will be off to the side to pray with you.” As he spoke I felt the Lord's invitation again, “You should go and get prayer, you’ve had a tough week.”

I considered the suggestion a moment and then responded, “Nah, that’s ok. I don’t need to.” He gently encouraged me again to get prayer, “Nope. I really don’t think I need to.” 

Then He got firm. “Go And Get Prayer.” 

To which I literally crossed my arms over my chest and said, “I AM NOT GETTING PRAYER.”

These two stories (and many others) are like red flags in my life. Places of distress or indicators that things are not as they should be. These two stories point to a very serious  problem.

I do not fear the Lord. 

Some one who tells the all powerful God to come back when it suited their schedule, does not have a healthy understanding of who God is. Someone who would casually and obstinately cross their arms and tell God "NO"-the same God that created said person, that redeemed said person and that could END said person-that someone needs to consider what a healthy fear of the Lord looks like.

Proverbs 1:7 tells me that, "The FEAR of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge." 

I want to learn to fear the Lord. And even though I'm anxious about this part of God, I want to know the God that deserves my fear.

The Thorn of Superiority and Charlie Sheen

In my last post I talked about Christ's parable found in Matthew 13: The Farmer and the seed. I shared that lately I've been struggling with a thorny or distracted heart.

I see lent as a time to do some good gardening in the land of my heart. Tilling up hard dirt. Infusing my life with the nutrients that spiritual disciplines bring. And fasting something during lent has always led to good things in my walk with God and my life with others.

This year (just like last) I'm fasting from TV during the 40 days of lent. TV is one of my BIGGEST distractions. It is where I escape, where I recharge, where I fold laundry and clean bedrooms, and where Joshua and I spend most of our downtime together.

In this first quiet week of lent, I have begun to realize some things about the state of my heart and places that God needs to prune. One of them is my interaction with celebrity news. I stumbled on this blog post today from "Her.meneutics"-the Christianity Today blog for women. The post is about the author's and our culture's desire to consume the lives of celebrities. She says this about the recent media onslaught of news from the crazy fall of Charlie Sheen:

The disturbed actor has been offering us the intimate details of his life on a plate, and we’ve been grabbing them by the handful, wolfing them down, and licking our fingers in expectation for the next course. But, after a few weeks of noshing on Charlie’s braggadocio and the perverse details of his life, the novelty of it is — forgive me — losing its sheen. We’re sick of hearing about him, but no worries: there’s an app for that.
Our culture wipes its mouth with the back of its hand and glances absentmindedly around the room. What’s next, we wonder. We want a new distraction.

OUCH! This image of gluttony sliced open my heart. And being free of TV and alot of media that revolves around TV happenings, it made my heart ready to hear God's call to me in this area.

How I objectify celebrities and sport figures is a gross part of my life. It chokes out God's call to see all people as precious and as having deep worth. It kills the good and hard news that all brokenness is BAD and that my brokenness is no better than the brokenness I read about in "People" or on-line. I have no right to feel superior to Charlie Sheen or the NFL players (though I still feel like they are being unreasonable). This is the real reason that I gorge myself on celebrity news (or watch Super Nanny for that matter), it makes me feel like my junk isn't that bad.

Even while writing this, a small sinister voice is whispering in my mind, "Well, this isn't a REALLY bad issue for you. You're much better than others..." AAAAAKKKKKKKK. I have some BIG THORNY WEEDS in my heart. Pride and superiority are deeply enmeshed into my life. And they are choking the life right out of me.

I need to press into the truth that junk is junk. And all junk needs God's redemption, forgiveness, and junk-removal system (enter the cross, the resurrection and the blessing of the Spirit poured into our hearts). I need Easter to come, and I need it just as much as the "bad" mom at my daughter's school, just as much as the guy who flipped me off in traffic, and just as much as Charlie Sheen. Maybe even more..

Where does your superiority come out?

A Little Gardening for Fat Tuesday

This week Cecilia read out the Gospels for the first time ALL BY HERSELF.

Sunday before church Cecilia and I were talking about good storytellers. We had just seen Tangled the day before (which is quite good, with a great story) and I interjected, "You know who was a great storyteller? Jesus! He loved telling stories." She was surprised and asked to hear one.

So I told her the parable of the Farmer and seeds in Mark 4.

Again Jesus... taught them [large crowd] many things by parables, and in his teaching said: “Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, some multiplying thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times.”
 Then Jesus said, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.”

Later in the afternoon, I looked up the passage and asked her to read it to me. She did. IT WAS AWESOME. And it made me think about Fat Tuesday, Lent, and gardening.

The soils are like our hearts. Some are hard (the path), some are shallow (the rocky), some are distracted (the thorny). And when we hear the Word of God it is like seed that falls on these soils. 

In hard hearts the Word has nowhere to go. Bitterness, callousness, anger, and apathy keep the surface of our hearts tough and so God's truth can't make it in and it gets carried away by the enemy. 

In shallow hearts the Word makes it below the surface, but not far enough. After an emotional experience with God, or an Ah Ha moment, the heart has no depth, no structure, no discipline for the seed to plant some roots and stick around. It soon withers and dies.

In distracted hearts the Word starts to grow, develops roots, but soon is killed by the "plants" that were already there. Our commitment to these weeds of wealth, status, independence, and happiness kill the truth that was planted by the good news of God.

When I look for myself in this story, my heart has looked like all these soils, but lately it has been mostly a thorny heart. I'm a distracted person. I read God's Word and seeds get planted in my heart: "think of others before you think about yourself;" "Do everything without grumbling or arguing;" "Don't be conceited, don't envy others." And as those seeds start growing into a beautiful and lush garden, my weedy heart starts to chock them back. My commitment to myself steals nutrients. My lack of trust that if I give of myself God will take care of me, nudges the truth out. My self-sufficiency robs the truth of the light and power it needs from the Spirit. And soon it dies.

Enter in the purning power of Lent.

Lent is a church season. 40 days before Easter, men and woman in the church give things up, fast, so that when Easter arrives our hearts are ready. Lent tills up the soil in our hearts. It begins sweeping away the rocks and infuses our hearts with nutrients. It also can be utilized to cut out distractions, to prune the things that take our affections away from the Gospel.

That is why we celebrate Lent. That is why I'll be giving something up tomorrow and will be trying to replace that thing with God. I want my heart ready. I want my heart to be soft, and deep, and clear, so when the seeds of Easter are thrown into my soul, there will be a crop beyond my wild imaginations.

What "soul" do you identify with most?

What do you need to give up to be ready to take in the seed of our Risen Lord?

A Little More Praying Library

Trying to keep the posts "short" here is the continued list of books from the last post that have shaped the way I think about prayer and more importantly the way I pray.

Fifty Prayers: If you want to pray but don't feel like you know how to pray find a book of prayers that can get you started. I got this book for Christmas this year and LOVE IT! Barth is one of my favorite theologians. I love his heart, his thoughts, the way he writes, and come to find out--I adore the way he prays. This is a collection of prayers he wrote to go with his sermons, and they are arranged to go with the church calendar. Here is a segment of one of my favorite ones:

"Lord our God, you are great, high, and holy over us and over all people. And indeed, you are so great that you have not forgotten us, have not left us alone, and despite all that might testify against us, you have not rejected us. Now, in your dear Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord, you have given us nothing less than yourself and all that is yours. We thank you that, as long as we live and in eternity, we may be your guests at the table of your grace.
   We now spread before you everything that troubles us: our mistakes and attempts to overreach, our sorrows, cares, rebellion, and bitterness-our whole hearts and lives that you know better than we do. We place all of this into the trustworthy hands that in our Savior you have stretched out toward us. Take us as we are, hold up the weak among us, and make the poor among us rich from your fullness!
   And so, let your friendliness shine over us..."

The Way of the Heart: This was required reading for staff this year in my region, and it was great! Nouwen is a great writer and I love how he thinks about leadership in Christ. In the book he quotes Theophan the Recluse: "To pray is to descend with the mind into the heart and there to stand before the face of the Lord, ever-present, all-seeing, within you." (73) This is the shortest book in the bunch, and if you are looking to be challenged not only in the way you pray but also in how you practice (or don't practice) silence and solitude then you should read this little book. His thoughts on prayer in this book actually convinced me to start practicing more simplistic praying.



 
Red Moon Rising: This was the most adventurous book I've read about prayer. It is a "history" of the 24/7 prayer moment that began in England. I was encouraged to read it at Urbana by a wise woman. I think anyone would get excited about intercessory prayer when reading this book. It inspired me for sure. I don't walk into prayer rooms the same way.

"Initially 24-7 was a lot of hard work. It wasn't easy persuading people to say they would come to the prayer room: prayer didn't really seem to be top of anyone's agenda! But when the week started, it just ...flowed--people came and people came back! Many people called in for an hour and ended up staying for three or four!...It wasn't until Thursday morning that I found myself in the prayer room alone. I was on my knees and just looked over at our wall covered in the names of family and friends--and God broke my heart. These weren't just random people, but people who were deeply loved, and someone was desperate for them to know Jesus." Lucy-Dublin (95)

Spiritual Disciplines Handbook: If you are a human you need to own this book. It is in my prayer library because it has a whole section of prayer disciplines, but it could be in any "library" that as to do with me getting closer to being like Christ. It is an amazing resource and I use it all the time! It has 14 different kinds of prayer: including Breath prayer, Centering prayer, Prayer walking, and fasting.

"Prayer is sustained less by duty than by a desire to connect and grow in intimacy and communion with the holy Three. But prayer also moves us up and out into our world" (203)

I also made a handout that went along with the talk on prayer I gave at Greek Conference. It breaks down 4 different ways to pray, and has some quotes on prayer that challenge me. Click here to look at it or print it off.

Books on my waiting to read list--History Makers-by Dutch Sheets and William Ford 
                                                        Prayer-by Karl Barth

What are some books you love that deal with the topic of prayer? Expand my list!

A Praying Library

I've been writing about prayer over the past few weeks. Here are some books that have been shaping my thoughts and habits in prayer.

Too Busy Not to Pray: This was the first book I ever read on prayer. I've read it a few times since then, and if you are just starting out on your journey into wanting to pray, or wanting to want to pray (smile) you should start here. Some of the chapters include: Heart-building Habits, Prayer Busters, The Hurt of Unanswered Prayer, The Importance of Listening.

"From birth we have been learning the rules of self-reliance as we strain and struggle to achieve self-sufficiency. Prayer flies in the face of those deep-seated values. It is an assault on human autonomy, an indictment of independent living. To people in the fast lane, determined to make it on their own, prayer is an embarrassing interruption." (9)

Can I get an OUCH!

Praying the Scriptures: Another IVP gem. This book walks you through different ways to use the scriptures in your prayer time, and it gives you several handy dandy appendix's in the back to point you to some good scripture to start your praying. The opening quote from the book is, "One of the greatest attractions of praying the Scriptures is that it is not boring."(17) To be quite frank I agree with him wholeheartedly! This book helped me go from prayer being something I knew I should do to something I wanted to do. It infused my time in prayer with depth and enjoyment.

Using God's word when I'm praying also helps jump start my conversation with God. It keeps me grounded and focused on God's heart for me and for what I'm praying about. I love praying out of the psalms (which the book offers a whole chapter on) and I spend a lot of time praying in Colossians 1. 

The Papa Prayer: I read this book of Larry Crabb's just this year and it changed the way I pray considerably. The main point of the book is that the church needs to stop seeing prayer as a means to get God's stuff, and start seeing it as mainly a means to relationship with God. He also calls for us to shift our prayer energies away from intercession (asking for things) to relationship (getting to know God better). He uses a model of prayer using the word Papa as an acronym. P: Present yourself to God w/out pretense. A: Attend to how you are thinking of God. P: Purge yourself of anything blocking your relationship with God. A:Approach God as the "first thing" in your life.

“The true center of prayer, its real point, is relating to God. When we restore relational prayer to its rightful place, then petitionary prayer is restored to its rightful and powerful place, as an expression of our love for God, not as the chance to get whatever we want for ourselves.

But we don’t naturally think of prayer as an opportunity to relate with God. ...[And] if we keep on believing that prayer is more about getting things than getting God, not only will we eventually get thoroughly confused when prayer doesn’t ‘work,’ but talking to God will at some point feel boring as well.” (37)

The Voice of Jesus: I just started this book. Smith focuses on the art of discernment in prayer. (Is there anything that man can't write about!) So far I really like it, and I'm excited about the thoughts the book is drawing out of my mind about prayer and how I listen to the inner witness of the Spirit.

"The genius of the Christian life is the resolve, willingness and capacity to respond personally and intentionally to the prompting of the Spirit...As communities of faith,...we urgently need to develop our capacity to listen together to the witness of the Spirit" (16-17)

The Folly of Prayer

We here in the Simmons' home have had the flu. Hence the reason I've not posted the final reason we should pray (as seen in 2 Chronicles 7)

I talked about the #1 reason we don't pray: We don't need to.
I wrote about the first reason we should pray: because prayer allows us to know God and ourselves
And the second reason we should pray: prayer is a unique privilege & God promises to attend our prayers.

But His attention is not all He promises. Look at 2 Chronicles 7:12-16:

“I have heard your prayer and have chosen this place [the temple the people had just built] for myself as a temple for sacrifices. When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people,  if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.  Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place.  I have chosen and consecrated this temple so that my Name may be there forever. My eyes and my heart will always be there.

 He doesn't just promise to hear our prayers, but he promises to do something about them, to do something with them.

"If my people pray...I will hear..., I will forgive..., I will heal."

We should pray because prayer changes the world. 

And when we don't pray we are acting like idiots.

This week good friends had a crisis and needed prayer, so they called. I wanted to jump in the car, and head to their house (hours away) because I felt like I needed to be present, but with the flu and little ones about me, going was impossible. So I headed back to my little uncomfortable chair to sit and pray. Going back to my room and sitting felt pointless and weak. I felt like I was letting my friends down by not going to them, taking care of their practical needs, distracting them with my funniness.

But then God met me.  

He was present with them. He was taking care of their needs. He was comforting them AND He was attentive to my prayers on their behalf. He was taking my prayers and using them to bless my friends. My prayers were as powerful as my presence. More powerful in some ways, because God called me to pray for them, not to be with them.

Here are some challenging thoughts on prayer from John Piper:

Friends! God will win your communities, your neighborhoods, your campuses, your workplace. Scripture tells us that in the end all knees will bow, all tongues confess that Christ is Lord of all. And as He is winning He is willing to take your prayers and incorporate them into what He is doing.

He will heal your families, your friends and your own heart. And as He's healing, He is willing to use your prayers to be a part of that restorative work.

God is changing the world. He is breaking down strongholds and rescuing people from every nation. And He is willing to take our prayers, our hopes, our dreams and fold them into that change.

We can't junk up the order. We can't jump into prayer just to get Him do what we want. That is not the purpose of prayer! We pray so that we can know God. So we can grow closer to Him. As we are praying, as we are pressing in closer and closer to the heart of the Living God we will start to ask for things that He wants, and we can confidently ask Him for what our hearts long for. We can passionately ask Him to forgive our sins (both individual and corporate) and we can, with as much detail as our imaginations can afford us, ask Him to heal our land.

As I ponder this reality of prayer I have to admit that I wholeheartedly agree with Piper, that we are fools if we don't take God up on His offer to pray.

So pray!

Now That I've Got Your Attention

Audrey is my loudest kid. She goes all the way up to 11!

A friend recently told me that as the youngest of 5, she was a loud kid. With all the noise in the house, she had to be. Her intense volume was the only way to get her parents to hear her, to make her needs known.

Her story made me think about my littlest Simmons, and her intensely perceptible little voice. It also made me strongly consider having more kids (could they be louder than Audrey!?!) and it drew me to consider another reason why we should pray.

Let's look at 2 Chronicles 7:12-16

“I have heard your prayer and have chosen this place [the temple the people had just built] for myself as a temple for sacrifices. When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people,  if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.  Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place.  I have chosen and consecrated this temple so that my Name may be there forever. My eyes and my heart will always be there.

The #2 reason we should pray: Prayer is a unique privilege.

Let's face it. Everybody prays. At some point in every person's life, everyone flings at least one request to the heavens. 

The unique thing about Christian prayer is that there is a God up there who is catching what is flung. He promises to hear the prayers that are prayed in the temple. And that means something for us because the New Testament tells us that if we are in a relationship with Christ and have the Spirit of God dwelling inside of us, then we are the new Temple of God (1 Cor 3:16-17). 

So we should pray because God is paying attention!


We normally only think about God's attention when we are thinking about behavior management. Don't go to that party...God is watching. Don't think that thought or say that thing about that girl...God's right beside you. He's making that list, checking it twice. Gonna find out who's naughty...But His attention of us is actually a much bigger and more beautiful idea. The Living, all powerful God is attending you. His eyes and His heart are close to you. He is paying attention. 


Think about the last time you were really hurt, broken by someone else's selfishness. God was paying attention. His eyes and His heart were close to you.


What about the last time you felt real joy, success. God saw you. His eyes and His heart were close to you. The last time you failed, the last time you felt completely out of your depth, the last time you were bored with life, the last time you laughed so hard you were crying-God was with you. His heart was close to you.


Your God is paying attention to you. He is for you and He cares what happens. You don't have to be the loudest talker, the most pious, or the most rebellious to get His attention. He offers it to us because He loves us and because that is just how good and big He is.


This makes me want to pray. To know that my God who is bringing the sun and putting it to bed, who is creative enough to imagine a giraffe and an oak tree, who is running the mysteries of the universe-that He takes the time to pay attention to me, when I hurt, when I stress, when I laugh. His attention feels good.


And it makes me want to return the favor.

Prayer Gets You God. Not His Stuff.

Yesterday I wrote about how 2 Chronicles 7:12-16 revealed the number one reason why we humans don't pray. It also tells us some reasons why we should.

Why we SHOULD pray: Reason #1--Prayer allows us to know God, and in return allows God to introduce us to ourselves.

Look at the passage:

“When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people,  if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 

It surprised me that God doesn't say, "If they will pray and ask me for rain, or health, or harvest, then I will answer." NO! He says that if they will "pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then..."

Prayer is a means to a relationship.

The goal of prayer is not getting God to answer our requests. The main goal of prayer is getting to know God, seeking His face, attending to what He is like. When we do that, we also begin to see ourselves for who we really are and hopefully, we turn away from our broken selves and move toward God.

When college students start a relationship, there is one key indicator that communicates to them the other person considers the relationship serious...a relationship status update on Facebook. We've all seen our friends go from "single" to "in a relationship", and sometimes we even get the name of their new significant other so we can click around and find vital info about them. But imagine a relationship where someone was willing to claim you facebook, where they spent time with you in big groups (say, like at church), but anytime you tried to get them alone so you could get to know them better, they were suddenly busy. Anytime you made a point to hang out with them one-on-one, they either ignored you or avoided you.

The relationship would not be a good one.

Alot of us have this kind of relationship with God. We'll claim Him on Facebook. I've been in a relationship with God since I started my Facebook account. We'll go to Bible studies, Sunday Schools and Seminary to learn more about Him. We'll enjoy Him at church and in musical worship. But when it comes to spending good quality one-on-one time with Him; when it comes to actually praying-we are simply too busy, too apathetic, or too lazy. Knowing Him personally isn't that important to us.

Prayer facilitates a strong connected relationship with God. It is where we get to know Him. It is where we allow Him to know us (He already does know us fully-even better than we know ourselves, but something good happens in our hearts when we tell Him who we are and how we feel). It is where we grow close to Him and His heart. Prayer is where our hearts (His and mine) meet.

That is why we should pray. Not to get His stuff, or His answers, or His approval. But to get Him.

We should pray because we were created to be in a dynamic relationship with the Living God, which is more than just a stagnant status on our Facebook page or another meeting in our week.