Lent, Suffering and The Tortures of Taking Sabbath

I've been reflecting on the parent stylings of Mary, Mother of our Lord and Savior, Jesus.

Reflecting on her experience at the foot of the cross.

Challenged by her ability to watch her son accused and tortured, staying silent, trusting Jesus to God.

And then, after all this is done. After Jesus is dead. Mary doesn't stay and watch over his body-like I would. She doesn't linger in her grief. She leaves Jesus' body to a religious leader,  whose name  happens to be Joseph, and goes home to get ready for the Sabbath.

Mary's relationship with her God is so strong and grounded that even the death of her son does not throw the rhythm of her faith. It doesn't takes precedent over her following the good and whole discipline of taking rest, as her God commanded her to.

Too often my kids become my little gods. Too often I put my love for them, my hopes for them, my passion for their happiness and success over my love, hope and passion for God and His kingdom. Too often I bow to the demons of materialism, selfish ambition, and pride in order to give them the life they ask for or that I am convinced they need. And I have to be honest that I would struggle with the Lord if one of my kids got sick or worse. My relationship with Him would become much more "complicated."

But as a mommy of little ones I wonder how Mary pressed into God the Father while Jesus was young. I wonder about her life and her faith when Jesus is just born and shepherds come and tell about the angels. When she takes Him to the temple to be circumcised and Simeon tells her that Jesus will cause the thoughts of many hearts to be revealed and that a sword will pierce her soul. I wonder how she moves toward God when the wise men come and offer the gifts. When she and Joseph and Jesus are refugees in Egypt. When they lose Jesus, only to find Him at the temple. I wonder how she took each of these moments and cultivated a faith life that was not centered on her son, but was centered on her God.

I wonder about those things and I ask God to cultivate a Mary heart in me.

I pray that the Father, Son, Spirit God would be my one consuming passion, and that He would teach me now, in the littleness of my mommy life, to put my relationship with Him above my relationship with my kids. And that no matter what comes in their lives or in mine, that at the end of the day, the end of the week, the end of my life, I'll be able to leave my Cecilia, my Gareth and my little Audrey in the hands of their True Parent, and take my rest.

Lent, Suffering, and the Dreaded Justin Beiber Fan Club

Yesterday I started a post series on Mary and her compelling parenting.

I've been dwelling on her place at the cross-on how Mary suffered there too. In a way, She suffered Jesus' suffering, and His suffering saved the world.

Watching a clip from "The Passion of Christ" and reading the Biblical account of Christ's passion has convinced me that Mary was a good parent. Not surprising right. I mean God did pick her to parent His one and only Son. And reading about her silent presence at the cross leads me to believed that she parented Jesus in a way that blessed Him, prepared Him for the cross.

At Cecilia's school there is a group of little girls who like to exclude. Occasionally, they use recess to "play" Justin Beiber Fan Club. I don't know what 6 and 7 year old girls do to play JBFC, but play they do, and Cecilia is not invited to join in. She does not own any JB clothes or lunch boxes. She is in essence not a fan, and therefore not included.

On nights when she is hurting from being excluded my heart wants action and justice. It wants to dislike those little girls, it wants to email her teacher or other mothers and put a stop to such silliness (which is silliness in itself).  At the very least it wants to tell Cecilia how much better it is not to be a JB fan and build her up.

But this heart is not an excellent heart. And it is not a good parent either.

This hurt is small, but as my kids grow, the hurts will too. They will be excluded from significant things. They will be misused by others, denied opportunities, hurt by brokenness. If the fullness of my hopes for them come about, and they each walk into a passionate relationship with God, they will have to die to themselves, and that hurts. And I will have to make a choice.

As a mom I have considerable power both in the world of my kids and in their hearts. And it is important that I am learning even in these small hurts of little-dom to follow the Spirit. I must ask how my parenting of her exclusion from a silly club now is preparing her for suffering with Christ later. And preparing me to suffer her suffering. Because Paul tells me loud and clear- To know Christ, really know Him and live in the fullness of that knowledge means my kids will have to suffer.

And I have to fight tooth and nail against the compulsion to protect my kiddo's from all hurt, to dry all tears, to work out their lives so that they live in happiness and peace-as if I even have this power.  I have to start preparing each of them now to take up their cross and to follow Christ. Not to run from pain, or attack when hurt, or to avoid suffering, but to trust themselves to their Good and True Parent. And I have to start preparing myself for the wild, glorious and painful ride that God is hopefully going to take my Cecilia, my Gareth, and my little Audrey on.

Lent, Suffering and the Parenting Example of Mary

A couple of Sundays ago, my pastor showed a clip from "The Passion of Christ." The clip showed one of the times that Christ was beaten and God used it to show me some hard things about myself which I wrote about in an earlier post.

But something else struck me while I was watching this clip. Jesus isn't the only one who suffered the cross. His mother Mary was there the whole time.

Please don't get me wrong. I know that the suffering our Lord endured on the cross was the most intense suffering humanity has ever known, but I think it is right to consider Mary's suffering there as well. Can you imagine what it was like to gaze upon your child in such agony? When I see my kids stumble and skin a knee my stomach turns. To see them tortured and killed...I can't comprehend that.

In the movie clip her presence gives Jesus focus and strength. He makes eye contact with her, and stands up to take more from the Roman thugs. And she stands there and silently watches her first born take the lashes that belonged to me, that belonged to the world, that belonged to herself. 

You might be thinking, "Yeah but that is just the movie..." Although when I read the biblical account, I'm drawn to the same conclusion: she was there, and she was silent.

Her parenting challenges me considerably. She doesn't shout out. She doesn't demand justice for her son. She entrusts Jesus to her heavenly Father. And when all is said and done, when her little boy is dead, she doesn't take care of Him. She doesn't stand guard over His dead body. She goes home, and takes the Sabbath rest that her God commands her to.

This leads me to two thoughts:

1. I firmly believed that Mary parented Jesus in a way that blessed Him, prepared Him for the cross.
2. Her love for her child does not define her relationship with her God

The next two posts will unpack these two ideas more.

But until then, how are you challenged by the parenting of Jesus' earthly mom?