August 4, 2008

My Dad and His Delightful Wit

So I posted about my mom being oh so cute, and while I'll spare my dad the degradation of calling him "cute" I will say he is one of the funniest men I know. Here are two humorous stories about my dad.

The first story includes two of my favorite things my Dad and Diet Coke...
At a recent physical my Dad was in the Doctor's office with my mom talking with his doctor about the results of the exam. When the doctor was finished explaining what he found he said, "Bill, is there anything else you need to talk about?"
"Well, I do have this pain in my arm." My Dad replies as he moves his arm with a slight wince on his face.
"Oh. What do you think could be the matter?"
"Well," Dad says in a serious tone, "I think it's all the Diet Coke!"
The doctor laughs and dismissively says, "Bill! You know that there is nothing in Diet Coke that would make your arm hurt."
My Dad grins as he chuckles and says, "Well, Diet Coke can hurt your arm if you go through the McDonald's drive through and pull your wife's Diet Coke into the car 8 or 9 times a day!

Recently my dad has been striving to eat better. He has cut out fried foods and non-whole wheat bread from his diet and consequently has lost 60 pounds! He looks great and feels much better. The last time I went to see my parents I was sitting on their porch reading a book. My dad comes out onto the porch and does a little jig to get my attention. As I look up to watch his dance he says, "60 pounds! That's how much I've lost!"
"WOW Dad!" I exclaim, "that is GREAT!"
"Yeah! Now I'm going to have to go and get those shots." is his reply.
At this point I'm confused. What shots? All this weight loss started because of some bad sugar test he had and the Dr.'s concern over him becoming diabetic.
"Do you still need insulin shots? I thought the weight loss would fix the sugar problem!"
My dad's face breaks into a huge grin and he answers, "Insulin shots! No! I'm talking about botox! Now that I've lost all this weight in my face I look really OLD!