Favorite Commercials-Take 3

When Josh and I sat down and thought about our top 5 commercials, this one was at the top of our list. We know it's weird, but come on! It is FUNNY! Slap your belly funny!

Favorite Commercials-Take 2

Here is another favorite! Josh rates this among his favorite as well. I can remember when this one premiered and I loved it then. Enjoy.

What is the World Coming To?

Today I was working on a flyer to send to InterVarsity students inviting them to an evangelism training we are doing in the area. I spent a few hours thinking about the flyer and was ready to move into creating it. The hardest part of creating something like this is choosing the right font. It might sound silly to you, but on any thing I make I spend a good hour, if not longer, choosing just the right font.
After exhausting all the fonts in Word and on my Mac, I decide to turn to the infinite resources of the internet to track down the elusive lettering of my dreams. It takes me about 30 minutes to find one that would fit perfectly in my flyer design, and SUCCESS! The font I track down is ideal for what I'm doing. I notice it is not a free download, but in my head I know that the font would be worth paying for because it is going to make the flyer look GREAT! As I click on the link to pay for the download, I'm planning out how to sell my supervisor on the cost. I know it's not going to be hard--he gets that doing things excellently sometimes means spending $30 or $40.
I spend the minute it takes for the page to upload gazing out the window of a cafe I'm working at, dreaming about where I'm going to put my super cool textbox and how great the end-product is going to look.....and BAM!

The font costs $996.69...................What is the world coming to!?!?!?!

I guess Arial Narrow will just have to do--sigh!

Favorite Commercials

This is one of my all time favorite commercials! Enjoy.

Some Simmons' Updates

Here are some recent photo's of the kids.














Some of interesting tid-bits about them--

Audrey's favorite sound to make right now is this non-girly sound that is exactly like a whale blowing water out of it's blow hole. She is also rolling over all the time, and is laughing regularly--especially at Cecilia, Gareth, dogs, and Daddy's beard up against her face.

Gareth is talking quite alot now and is obsessed with the Moon and Stars! ANYTIME we are in the car he wants to know where his moon and stars are, "Mommy, Mommy"
"Yes Gareth?"
"Where my Moon and star? Mommy, Mommy?"
"Yes Gareth?"
"Where my Moon and stars?" "Well Gareth they don't come out during the day. They are all asleep."
"Mommy, Mommy?"
"Yes Gareth?"
"Where my Moon and stars?"
I try and get him to start asking his daddy or my friend Amanda, but that doesn't last too long and he normally comes back to his favorite phrase, "Mommy, Mommy?" Just like Cecilia when she was young, I wonder if I should worry that Gareth is apparently a moon worshiper. But then I remember that Abram worshiped the moon before God introduced Himself and I would say that Abram turned out just fine.
Gareth also has a riding toy he got for Christmas, and he loves to crash into everything with that truck! His new favorite crash site is his older sister's shins! Several times during the day, I'll be in the living room working, and I'll hear that truck thundering down the hall, enter the kitchen, and SLAM! Then the inevitable, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MOMMY HE HIT ME WITH HIS TRUCK!"
I head into the other room where Cecilia is on the floor holding her leg and Gareth, instead of looking sad or ashamed over what he has done, looks up at me with a proud puffed-up chest and deeply gleeful smile.

Cecilia has started school and LOVES it! She bursts in the door of the school each day and tells her teachers how excited she is to be there. She is making friends with the kids in her class and is growing into a kind and thoughtful little girl.
The other day, she, Josh and I were having Quiet Time together and her Pepaw called (this is Josh's dad). She asked if she could talk to him on the phone and while they were chatting he told her that she was coming over that night to spend the night at Pepaw and Grammy's house. Cecilia got instantly excited. She turned to me to ask if it were true, and as she was asking she became so excited, so overwhelmed (please note that all this happens in the space of about 30 seconds) that she began crying, fairly uncontrollably! My heart melted. I told her it was true and she closed her eyes tightly and gave herself an excited hug.
The best part came next when, still in her highly emotional state, she got back on the phone with Pepaw and started explaining how excited she was. When Cecilia is really happy and is trying to talk about it, Stream of consciousness is the only way to describe the experience. So she starts jumping to all these things that make her happy, trying to communicate with Pepaw that she is excited and the only truly coherent thing she gets out is at the end when she blurts, "And PEPAW, God is making us houses in Heaven!!" Josh and I are laughing hysterically not only at Cecilia's verbal vomit which is so sincere and adorable, but mainly because we can hear poor Pepaw on the other end of the phone, not exactly sure what just happened, not exactly sure what Cecilia is talking about and I'm betting that he is rethinking the decision to ask her about the sleepover. When Josh got the phone back Cecilia was adamant that he let Pepaw know that she just crying "happy cries" not sad ones.

Nostalgic Musings

I've been moving through a workbook--"The Creative Call" by Janice Elshiemer. The author encourages you to get up early & write in a creative journal she calls a daybook. This week one of the daybook exercises was to jot down some favorite memories from childhood. I deeply enjoyed thinking through this and thought some of you might enjoy reading it.

On Sunday nights after church my parents often went out with friends to Shoney's. I remember sitting beside them in the cushy booth, listening to my Dad and our pastor talk about the mysteries of scripture. Even as a little kid I felt pride in my Dad's desire to know God and understand the Word. He would get so excited that he would proclaim in a loud belly laugh the greatness of his God. I remember wanting to know every detail about the topic they were discussing that week. Their talks made me want to discover the nuggets of truth they possessed and be included in the conversation. I think this is where my curiosity for scripture was born.
Some nights, when I was not engaged in listening, I was busy making the ever popular "mystery" drink with the kids who had come. A staple of our late nights out was dumping everything from our plates and the table into our water glasses and daring each other to drink it. It was inevitable though, no mater how careful and quiet we were, the cup would always end up knocked over. The contents spilling over us, our table, our shoes and the floor. Our parents would consequently swoop down on our table and usher us out to the car and home to bed.

I loved climbing trees and playing in creeks. I remember the joy I felt when I was up among the branches. I was strong and indestructible! Grace and skill seemed like second nature which was the opposite of how I felt when I was on the ground. I loved the solitude as well. When I was up as high as I could go, and had found the perfect notch to lean or sit on, I remember closing my eyes and enjoying the wind rocking the branches and tickling my face with my hair.
There was a creek behind our church that I was always trying to get into! My mom remained frustrated in the summer because I constantly muddied my nice shoes and dirtied my Sunday dresses. I remember the satisfaction I felt when I would jump from rock to rock to rock all up and down the course of the creek. It was the first place I felt independent from my parents. Making my own choices and suffering the consequence of a wet shoe if I made a poor one. Even better was when I would take off my shoes and wade into the water. I loved squishing my toes in the mud and was terrified that I would get pinched by crawfish.

One of my favorite places to spend time with I was young was my friend Holly's house. Holly was a great friend to have. She was kind and energetic, and she loved to pretend as much as I did. I always felt safe around her. I felt like I could be completely myself and she valued the person I let her see.
She lived in, at least I remember it being an old farmhouse. There was a barn with animals (she raised a cow for 4H at one point), a big interesting back yard, her mysterious artistic older brother (smile), and her mother, Paula, who was as kind as Holly. Her house was like a fantasy land for me. There was a wood-burning kitchen stove and a big fireplace. It was away from the main road so we could roam around on our own, letting our imaginations run wild.
I think Holly is the reason I love to read today. She had so many books at her house and I remember one of our favorite past times was reading to each other and telling each other stories. Holly's mom loved telling stories too and knew many folk tales that she would tell us over and over. I vividly remember her telling me about the first woman who was executed in NC. Holly introduced me to my favorite book, "The Westing Game" one night when I was spending time with her and her family as they worked to put up some harvested something. We took turns reading it to each other late into the night, sitting by the campfire, with the aid of a flashlight. It was so spooky I wanted to stop reading but so interesting I couldn't.


Those weren't all the things I loved from when I was a kid, but it is all I'll blog about for now. I would love to hear some of your favorite things from childhood and would encourage you to take some time this week to write about your own memories. It was really satisfying!

My Dad and His Delightful Wit

So I posted about my mom being oh so cute, and while I'll spare my dad the degradation of calling him "cute" I will say he is one of the funniest men I know. Here are two humorous stories about my dad.

The first story includes two of my favorite things my Dad and Diet Coke...
At a recent physical my Dad was in the Doctor's office with my mom talking with his doctor about the results of the exam. When the doctor was finished explaining what he found he said, "Bill, is there anything else you need to talk about?"

"Well, I do have this pain in my arm." My Dad replies as he moves his arm with a slight wince on his face.

"Oh. What do you think could be the matter?"

"Well," Dad says in a serious tone, "I think it's all the Diet Coke!"

The doctor laughs and dismissively says, "Bill! You know that there is nothing in Diet Coke that would make your arm hurt."

My Dad grins as he chuckles and says, "Well, Diet Coke can hurt your arm if you go through the McDonald's drive through and pull your wife's Diet Coke into the car 8 or 9 times a day!

Recently my dad has been striving to eat better. He has cut out fried foods and non-whole wheat bread from his diet and consequently has lost 60 pounds! He looks great and feels much better. The last time I went to see my parents I was sitting on their porch reading a book. My dad comes out onto the porch and does a little jig to get my attention. As I look up to watch his dance he says, "60 pounds! That's how much I've lost!"
"WOW Dad!" I exclaim, "that is GREAT!"
"Yeah! Now I'm going to have to go and get those shots." is his reply.
At this point I'm confused. What shots? All this weight loss started because of some bad sugar test he had and the Dr.'s concern over him becoming diabetic.
"Do you still need insulin shots? I thought the weight loss would fix the sugar problem!"
My dad's face breaks into a huge grin and he answers, "Insulin shots! No! I'm talking about botox! Now that I've lost all this weight in my face I look really OLD!

The CUTEST Mom in the World--"WTF"

Take that everyone! I do indeed have the most adorable mom on the planet!

I was hanging out with my family watching season one of Project Runway. If any of you have watched this particular season, most of the contestants drop the "F" Bomb regularly. After an especially exploding segment, I made a crack about the potty mouths and my mom chuckled.

She said that just recently she had read an article in the newspaper about how NC had to recall 10,000 license plates. What about these plates caused such a stir? Well, the first three letters on these thousands of tags just happened to be "WTF". So Raleigh's only recourse was to take back all the offending tags and issue new ones.

My Mom was confused. What did "WTF" stand for and how offensive could it be to amount to the cost of fixing the screw up. She thought and thought, but could not come up with what "WTF" possibly meant.

What could she do to track down the meaning behind these naughty initials. She could ask the ladies in her Sunday School Class. She could pull out her cell phone and call her two daughters. She could ask one of the many business owners she talks to everyday. She could have done any number of things to discover the answer to her query, but being the resourceful and tech-savvy lady that she is...She googled it!

AND BOY DID SHE FIND OUT WHAT IT MEANT!

Silly Cecilia Moments--Heaven and Death

We have been talking to Cecilia about Heaven for a few months now. Here are a couple of stories that show she's been pondering our conversations.

I had to get blood taken at the doctor's office and they gave me a band-aid for my poor bruised finger. When I came out Cecilia saw it and asked why I needed a shot. We talked about how mommy had a "shot" because the doctor needed to make sure the baby was doing well. Then we talked about how shots may not be fun but they are good because they help protect us from disease. Heaven came up as I told her that in heaven we won't have to worry with shots because no one gets sick. She was really excited about that and all the way home quizzed me about which day of the week we would get to go to heaven. She informed me that Tuesdays & Thursdays were school days, Wednesdays and Sundays we went to church, so that left Mondays, Fridays or Saturdays for us to go to Heaven. A few days later my friend Amanda (See the "Why I Love My Friends" post) was driving Cecilia somewhere for me. She and Cecilia were chatting when all of the sudden Cecilia said in a rather desperate little voice, "Deda (this is what she has always called Amanda), I hope you get to go to Heaven." Amanda replied that she is going to Heaven because she believes in Jesus. Cecilia excitedly states, "OH GOOD! I want you to be there with Me and Mommy and Daddy and Gareth. Do you know that you don't have to get shots and you won't get sick!"

Just recently I was driving the kids home from running some errands. Out of the blue Cecilia asked, "Mommy, when do we go to Heaven?"
I wasn't sure how to respond to her. It seemed that the honest answer was too morbid for a 4 year old, but when in doubt I try for the simple truth. "Well honey, we can't go to Heaven until we die."
"OH Yes!" She said with a grown-up, matter of fact tone, "When our lives are all used up, we die and then we go to Heaven."

Later that night Josh was saying prayers with her when she decided to branch out and pray on her own. Normally they say roughly the same prayer each night with him starting and her repeating, but this night she threw a bit of a curve ball. She prayed, "God, please let Mommy and Daddy die really soon! Amen."
Obviously Josh was a bit freaked. He had not been privy to the conversation she and I had in the car and was, to say the least, concerned over Cecilia's recent desire to see our imminent demise.

I hope she maintains this eager desire for Heaven through her whole life, and that Gareth and Audrey grow excited about it as well. I remember when I was growing up I was not exactly thrilled over the whole idea of Heaven. It just seemed boring...Worshiping God all the live long day... ummmm-OK.
In college I read "The Sacred Romance" and the last chapter started opening my heart to how exciting our glorification will be. The authors talk about how Heaven will draw us into perfect intimacy with the Godhead and each other. They talk about how we will be united with beauty, and that being with our God will begin the greatest and most satisfying adventure we've ever known. Those things didn't sound boring, they sounded too good to be true.

That chapter coupled with C.S. Lewis's "The Great Divorce" and a simple line from a song,

"Curse-reversing Day of Jesus
When you finally seize my soul
Freedom from myself will be the
Sweetest rest I’ve ever known"

helped me understand what Paul meant when he wrote, "To live is Christ, to die IS GAIN." I love that Cecilia grasps this idea so naturally.

Why I Love my Friends...

There are many reasons why I love each of my friends. But this week I want to highlight one of the reasons I love love love my friend Amanda.

I could say that I love Amanda because of how great she is with my kids or because of how sacrificial she is with her time. I could talk about how funny she is or how thoughtful. I could point out what a great sounding board she is with just the right amount of sympathy and challenge. I could talk about the many things I love about this great lady including that she is a GREAT teacher and has a deep heart for her students.

But this week the main reason I Love Amanda is because she introduced me to "SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE!"

Have you watched this amazing show? I mean really watched it. It is incredible. The dances that these kids learn and execute each week are diverse and difficult. And the most amazing part is that a good number of the dancers aren't "classical" dancers. They come from an assortment of backgrounds like Hip-hop and Latin. The things that they pull off blow my brain!
This week there was a Hip-hop dance that I LOVED! You should check it out below.
The first part of the video introduces you to the dancers, Chelsie & Mark and then they show the dance. I hope you love it as much as I did.

A few weeks ago there was another Hip-hop routine that was amazing as well. The video skips the intro section, but the story is about a man who gets called to the war and his wife's reaction.

Leading Small Group and Loving Every Minute of It!

This summer I have the wonderful privilege of leading a Small Group Bible Study for ladies in my community. The study is on Tuesday nights at 6:30 at Grace Covenant Presbyterian and we are looking at different types of Psalms.

This week we kicked off the group by digging into Psalm One. God has been tickling my life with this psalm for a few months now, using it to feed my spirit and calling me to choose holiness and wisdom over laziness and my own understanding of life. I was wondering if there was anything else God could squeeze out for me during the Bible Study, and He did not disappoint!

The small group ranges from women in their early 20's to women who, let's just say, are in or past their 50's. This and other differences lead to some heated and exciting discussions. It was so much fun to hear how these different ladies read this Psalm--what drew their focus and questions, where they were convicted, and where they were blessed. We talked about being trees and if we were feeling very tree-like in our lives right now. We talked about how we delight in the Lord and how we can meditate in our relationship with Him. We talked about what it meant to be blessed, which took on such a deeper value when a woman battling cancer talked about God's blessing in her life. It was fun and full and deep and good.

I love talking about the God of the Bible with a group of women who love Him. I couldn't sleep that night when I got home. Not because I wasn't tired--frankly leading all these women was a bit of an exhausting task, but because I was so excited and thrilled that I got to be there when the Spirit showed up and led us to some cool things in the Word of God!

Personally, my butt got KICKED by one of my good friends. She made a great observation that in verse one the Psalmist takes us from walking with the wicked, to standing and then to sitting. This is a progression of investment--skirting sin, hanging out with sin and then just settling down with it...getting comfortable in sins living room, by sinking into a big comfy arm chair...ouch! This mirrors my own stupidity when it comes to bad choices. I'll allow myself to walk around with laziness or selfishness and it's no big deal. Then I'll just stop and hang out in my bad choices. That's not too bad either(I tell myself), but pretty soon I'm moving in with them and I've got serious problems on my hands! I need to cultivate better bud nipping!
I love that I serve a God who adores for us to be in community around His Word. And if you are reading this and are not involved in a Small Group Bible Study...GO GO GO & FIND ONE! It will feed you and your soul like nothing else!

A Walk Through Sam's or a Walk Through HELL?

This is a long one, but I think well worth the effort.
Who knew a simple trip to Sam's Wholesell Club could produce so much stress that I would become dehydrated from the sweating!

I had all three kids and we needed to waste time before picking up Josh. I decided to take us to Sam's for lunch and some shopping. I love Sam's--mainly because they have HUGE carts that all the kids can fit into and you can get lunch for under $5. Out of the car, into the cart, into the store, over to the food counter--So far things are running smoothly. As we are waiting for our hot dogs Audrey starts getting fussy. By the time we sit down with our food she is screaming. This is where the sweating begins. Everyone is looking over at our table. I hope that if I leave her in her car seat she will drift off to sleep, but of course this time she doesn't. Cecilia and Gareth start fighting over the lemonade that they are "sharing" and Gareth keeps grabbing his hot dog and shoving it in his mouth (uncut hot dogs are one of the top choking hazards for toddlers). I pick up Audrey (to stop the hostile looks from our fellow dinners) and then can not cut up Gareth's hot dog. I put her back down and she screams like I broke one of her limbs while placing her back in her seat. At this point a nice grandmother comes over and offers to help. She holds Audrey's pacifier in and rocks her seat while I cut up food and forge a truce on the lemonade front.

Crisis averted. Audrey calms down, Gareth is eating, and Cecilia is happily drinking the lemonade. I thank the kind grandmother and start eating my lunch as she leaves. Cecilia and I finish and Audrey falls asleep. Gareth is still eating (it takes him a LONG time to eat) when Cecilia franticly looks up and says the dreaded, "I have to use the potty." She can not wait so I start cleaning up our table. Gareth notices that I'm throwing away things and looks at me frantically. He is only 2/3's the way done with his hot dog, so he starts grabbing food with both hands and shoving as much as he can into his mouth. His cheeks are puffy with food as I load him into the cart with Cecilia, who is now dancing in her seat because she is so close to an accident. I whisk us off, jogging with the cart into bathroom. We park in the corner just in time for Cecilia to make it into a stall and do her business.

Crisis averted. We are there only a few seconds of calm before someone in the bathroom flushes. The toilet flush sounds like the world is ending in a loud horrific bomb. The first flush wakes Audrey up, the second upsets her. But the next 14 flushes throw her back into a state of fury and she begins to scream again! Cecilia finishes up and we whisk out the bathroom. I'm hoping if I can get the cart moving quick enough then Audrey will go back to sleep-yet she continues to cry. Everyone is looking, most people we pass are commenting on how full my hands are, and Cecilia and Gareth are getting antsy. So now with the exercise and the spectators the sweating steps up a notch and Audrey is getting louder and angrier with each new row. I'm now at the far back corner of the store (farthest corner from the restroom with a cart full of groceries) when it occurs to me to check her diaper.

Bingo! Sure enough, her diaper is full of unspeakable evil. So at this point I decide not to go the restroom but just to roll to the corner of the store, lay down a blanket and change her right there. I get her out of her seat, lay her on the blanket and reach into the diaper bag for the wipes...of course they are not there. I put Audrey back into the cart and run over to get a box of wipes. I open them up, grab some wipes and set Audrey back up in the floor. The whole diaper takes 10 wipes to clean up. I charge through, get her changed and wipe my own forehead, which is now dripping with sweat, with the 11th wipe.

Crisis Averted. I take a huge sigh of relief. I stand up with Audrey and stretch out my sore back. Audrey starts calming and I tell myself the worst is over. Then I turn to look at our cart for the first time since I started changing the diaper-and OH MY GOODNESS! Gareth has found my wallet, opened it and he and Cecilia have spent the past 10 minutes emptying the entire contents of it--throwing everything into the air like confetti. There is a circle of business cards, credit cards and grocery cards, receipts and photos lying around the cart and Gareth is very pleased with himself.

I breath deeply in order to contain my rage as I pick up the aftermath of Gareth and Cecilia's ticker tape parade and head to the front of the store. I pay and load up the car. I fall into the driver's seat and sit quietly for a few minutes--thanking God for the gift of Jesus...because that trip through Sam's was enough to convince me I could not handle eternal damnation.

Gareth & Audrey

Photos of our new Simmons

Here she is! Audrey Dawn Simmons. Sorry for the long wait...it is amazing how much time it takes to hold and stare at a new baby. Thanks for all the calls and emails.
We don't have any photos of Gareth and Audrey yet, but he loves the new addition, and loves to sit next to her and point out that like him she uses pacifiers. He thinks that is hilarious along with most everything else she does. He is only slightly put out by the level of attention she needs, and seems along with Cecilia to be handling the transition well.

THE BABY IS HERE!

She has finally arrived! Audrey Dawn Simmons was born today at 2:50 pm--April 4th. She was 9 pounds (yes that is big!) and she had some hair. They induced us at 10:30 and we only had to push for 20 minutes! Hallelujah!!

We named her after our dear sweet and sexy staff worker and friend--Dawn Everette Moore. We love you Dawnie!

More to come along with photos soon!

Notes From a Cowering Evangelist-- New Life

Thanks to my dear friends-Jayme and Los- who took the kids last Wednesday, I was able to go and spend the day in retreat with the Lord. It was a good day to grab some quiet time with the Spirit & in the Word before the new baby descends upon us.
I started my day at a park and set my chair beside a calm stream that was full of ducks and geese. I was spending time that day dwelling on my thirst for God. I've not been very thirsty over the past month and want to grow in my desire for time with my heavenly Father as the baby comes and life gets hectic.
I opened up my Bible to Psalm One. It seemed fitting considering my setting. These verses stuck out to me:

"Blessed is he who's delight is in the Law of the Lord
and in this Law he meditates day and night.
He will be like a tree planted by the streams of water
which yields it's fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither--
Whatever he does prospers..."

I was sitting right next to some lovely trees that were, like the tree mentioned above, planted right on the water, yet they did not seem to be teeming with life as the Psalm suggests they should. They still seemed dead from the winter cold. There were no fruit or flowers, no leaves-nothing to communicate that there was actual life in those trees.
When I think about the journey God has been taking me on in the area of Evangelism and Witness I relate to what I saw in these trees. I have been trying to adhere to the wisdom of this scripture. I've been trying to delight in God's Word and meditate on what is has to say about Witness. I've been thinking about it often, reading about it and talking it over with others on the road. In light of this I want the promise that comes with this blessing; to be planted by a nourishing stream, to be productive at just the right moment, to have a long-lasting effect. But for now I feel like these trees looked; Dead.
Maybe winter was too long or too severe. Maybe my root system doesn't really meet the water's edge and I'm missing all that life-giving water. Or what I really fear is that I'm just too dead. I'm too broken on the inside to fully be the kind of tree I dream of. Maybe the abundant life of witness and walking with the Spirit in unity and purpose is only for those who are more faithful, more holy, more something... but not me.
As I sat there and confessed this fear to God I waited for Him to speak to my heart. He called me to see those trees with His eyes--to see past the physical and obvious. To see into the tree itself, where life is teeming and brimming close to the surface. Nothing can be seen from the outside yet things are happening. Groundwork is being laid. The soil and water is strengthening. The Sun is feeding and warming. Life is just below the surface preparing to explode out in a dramatic display of color and joy when the moment is just right.
God called me to look closer at myself as well. I am not dead nor I am too broken! The Spirit has not yet chosen to grow obvious, physical fruit in this area of my discipleship, but He is strengthening me, nourishing me, teaching me and giving me a passion and a vision. He is giving me a deep calling and promises an inheritance among the nations.
So, I will put my trust in the good and faithful Gardener who tends the vine and promises me a good and hearty season, and I will be patient for when that season joyfully arrives.

Mind-Bending Quote of the Day

When I say, "I am not afraid to fail," it makes me cringe. Of course I am afraid. I will continue to experience embarrassment and to believe that I've done things inappropriately. I'm certain I will hurt again, both when I give and when I receive. But when I change "I am not afraid to fail" to "I am fearless of failure"--aha! Now I can tap into the eternal plan and live in light of the great beyond. In Christ, I can be fearless of failure because not only is there no fear in him, there is no failing. He is always successful, and he turns my stumbling into his victory. I am fearless of failure because my blunders have no power, no meaning. Christ's victory has meaning and power. My failings exist; they are real, but they define neither me nor Christ. My failings can be forgiven and redeemed. So I risk being a creative instrument of Christ. It's worth it.

Alice Bass

The Creative Live: A Workbook for Unearthing the Christian Imagination

The Underbelly of Being Pregers-Just Leave Me the Crap Alone!

There are many things I don't like about being pregnant, but by far my least favorite thing is how the pregnancy seems to put a big sign over my head that reads,
"Hey I'm Pregnant--TALK TO ME!"
Anytime I go out I am accosted by perfect strangers wondering things about me that are, frankly, none of their business: when I'm due, the sex of the baby, what names we're thinking about. I wish I had the nerve to stick it to these people and say in a very offended voice that I'm not pregnant, but I always chicken out. I've even had some women come over and rub my belly in the middle of Target! But the worst was when I was pregnant with Cecilia and a man came over, thumped me on the tummy and said, "Yep! Sounds ripe to me!"
Once, when I was pregnant with Gareth, a woman walked over to our table at Fuddrucker's and asked when I was due. On this particular night Cecilia had been a beast! She didn't feel great and had spent much of the meal acting out and crying. Josh finally had to take her out to the car to discipline her. It was his exit that prompted this woman's advance. "When are you due?" She asked. I had seen her paying attention to us while we were eating and knew she was coming over to chat. I took an inward sigh, plastered a polite smile on my face and replied, "The end of the September." Her eyes widen and she said, "Oh well, that little one you have now is in for a RUDE awakening when that baby comes." And then she stood there and waited for me to respond to her idiotic comment. I looked at her like she had lost her senses, scoffed and left the restaurant. I've never been angrier driving home from dinner.
But the most obnoxious of these offenders are the women (mostly at checkout counters) who ask when I'm due and then after my response let their eyes get big and round and say, "WOW! Are you having twins." or "4 more weeks! You look ready to explode!" This happens at least 3 times a week.
How can people think this is appropriate or helpful. Do they think they are making me feel better about myself? Do they think that it is easy to keep the crazy under control when you are this huge, this pregnant, and this hormonal. Sigh. I just want people to leave me alone or ask me other questions about myself. I am more than just a baby warmer/grower, right? There is a human being under all this water and weight? Maybe? Just leave us pregers alone. Odds are we don't want to talk to you!

Notes from a Cowering Evangelist: Fish & Loaves

I spent the afternoon looking at Mark 6 where Jesus feeds the 5,000+. I was struck by Christ's conversation with the disciples. When they tell him to send away the people because everyone needed to eat, Jesus says, "You give them something to eat." Flabbergasted the disciples point Christ to the fact that they don't have the resources to feed everyone. Jesus' response was, "Bring what you do have to me." And what did they have--only two fish and five loaves, and the result was that ALL were satisfied.

When I think about sharing the gospel with non-Christians I often wish I had a better set of gifts. I wish I was comfortable just bringing up Jesus with strangers at Cafe Gouda. I wish I had a natural passion that was always at the forefront of my brain. Mainly, I wish my life was less difficult. With one car, three kids (soon enough), a job, a full schedule for both Josh and I, time spent trying to build relationship with other families in our church and the time Josh and I spend serving at church, I struggle to see where in my week I would even be out of my house long enough to meet someone who didn't know Jesus.

But I need to stop wishing for a life that I see as ideal. I need to stop whining about not having enough time and take what I have to Christ and let Him do something with it. I need to ask the Spirit daily to take the two hours and five minute I have outside the house on a given day or week and lead me into divine appointments.

God--give me an in your face passion for the lost and use the gifts and personality You blessed me with to connect with those who are longing to know You. Help me be creative in seeing where in my life I can make more space for building relationships with the lost.

Take these meager fish and loaves and bring satisfaction to Hickory and the world.

The Underbelly of Being Pregers

One of the worst side affects of my pregnancies is that by the end I start having disturbing dreams and nightmares a few times a week. If you notice when I'm posting this you will see that I am up in the middle of the night, because tonight it was a full out horrific nightmare that left me unable to sleep. I won't go into detail this time (smile--see the post "Notes from a Cowering Evangelist: A Nightmare"), but needless to say I am pretty frustrated. I try to wake Josh up on the really bad nights, but he barely stirs enough to say dreamily, "Oh, honey (yawn) I'm so sorry." As he rolls over and goes back off to blissful sleep. So between the dreaming and waking up a few times to use the bathroom and the back pain, it is no wonder that I feel the need to take two naps a day.

If I were a bit more spiritual I would probably see how the Lord is moving toward me in this place of extreme exhaustion. I would relish the quite and solitude time to spend in the Word or in meditative prayer, but instead I think I'll just continue my Agatha Christie novel. Go Miss Marple, Go! Or I could catch up on that America's Next Top Model Marathon I DVRed. Which one shall I choose?

Boning up on White Culture

Thanks to my sweet friend Allison who just emailed me this blog address...

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

It is hilarious and worth checking out. We all need to understand our white culture a little better.
Any guesses on which of our friends embody the blog the most--there was a clear winner in my mind!

I would encourage you to check out these posts specifically:
#74 Oscar Parties
#67 Standing Still @ Concerts
#63 Expensive Sandwiches (I'm posting from Cafe Gouda)
#55 Apologies
#47 Arts Degrees (Can I get a woo-woo from the UNCA Alums)
#42 Sushi
#40 Apple Products
#38 Arrested Development
#29 80's Night
#28 Not Having TV
#23 Micro Brews
#9 Making You Feel Bad about not Going Outside
#1 Coffee (oh Joshua, sweet Joshua!)

Silly Cecilia Moments

Cecilia is excited about the new baby. Lately this has translated into her assuming that everyone in her life is having a baby. Her friends (who are 4 years old), my friends, her grandmothers and other family members. She will walk up to these women, gasp and then touch their tummy's and say, "OH! You're going to have a baby. There's a baby in there!" Not the thing most women want to hear.

At least three times we have been playing together when she said, "(gasp) MOM! Did you hear that?"
I stop doing whatever I'm doing, and listen. Hearing nothing I reply, "Hear what, Cecilia?"
"You didn't hear that Mommy? OH!," as she starts to rub her tummy, "I'm going to have a baby!"

Notes From a Cowering Evangelist: A Nightmare

We were on a boat in the middle of a lake. It was a peaceful, sunny dream. Suddenly, things turn gray and I'm in the water. It's hard to move because of the pregnancy and as I tread water I turn back toward the boat to see my kids moving toward the edge. Cecilia takes the first step off the boat. She hits the water as I lunge to grab her. I catch her and pull her up just as Gareth stumbles and falls into the lake. Holding on to Cecilia I lumber toward Gareth. I see him sinking underneath the water and get to him just in time to grab his shirt before he disappears, but as I grab him I lose my grip on Cecilia and she begins to sink downward. This happens over and over--each time I get one child safe the other slips out of my hold. The last time I reach for Cecilia I'm only able to grab a few strains of her hair. I beg God to let her hair hold as I pull her toward me... then I wake up.

That morning I spent time reading Paul's greeting in Romans 1. I was struck by the passion of Paul's language when he is talking about his brothers and sisters in Rome. His thankfulness for their faith, his praying for them constantly, his longing to come and help them draw deeper into their passion for Christ. Paul seems to understand the urgency and importance of people coming to faith in Christ and maturing in that faith. He has a clear understanding of the state of the world and a vision for what the world needs. And that is what motivates his passion.
As I began journaling the Spirit merged my thoughts about Paul's passion with my nightmare. It was as though Paul saw the world in terms of that lake and when presented with people sinking and drowning in brokenness, sin and death his only response was to dive in with his whole life.
I don't hesitate to jump in when it is my kids who are threatened. I might even get wet if a close friend is floundering. For the most part though, while Paul could be hired as a professional lifeguard, I'm over on the dock sticking my toe in the water to test out the temperature.
My lack of passion is in part a vision problem. I don't see the world in these terms. I don't understand fully what is at stake. Holy Spirit, open the eyes of my heart to who is drowning, and move me enough to dive in.

In Honor of GroundHog Day

Here are some Halloween photos. We were in PA with some friends. Cecilia was Snow White (I made her cloak) and Gareth was a lion. She had a much better time than he did, but they both enjoyed most of the trick-or-treating. For a few of the homeowners Gareth gave them a little roar. Both the kids got over two buckets of candy. We still have candy in the house.

Notes From a Cowering Evangelist

"Hello, my name's Lee and I'm ashamed of the gospel."
"Hello Lee."

The area of witness has always been a great source of shame for me. I've never had great evangelistic moments and I rarely feel an overwhelming desire to share my faith. Most of my conversations with non-Christians come out of a sense of duty more than a response to what God is doing in my life.
Paul's words in Romans 1 floor me--"I am not ashamed of the gospel because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes." So is my lack of passion for the lost an issue of shame? NOOOOO! I just never seem to be in random situations where Jesus comes up. Plus my evangelistic style is "interpersonal" so those crazy on-the-spot conversational moments just aren't my thing.
In the end, my meager, fear-based excuses for not making time to meet non-Christians or for ignoring moments when I felt like I should approach someone are more about my apathy toward what God has done in and for the world.
So I'm committing this year to grow in passion and boldness toward the lost around me. Josh and I are reading Re-Imagining Evangelism together and (we hope) with some friends. I'm praying that the Spirit will awaken me to what He is doing in those around me, and I'm trying to think about how I can get outside my house and my small group of friends in order to meet people who need to talk about Jesus. I would love for you to join me in praying that God unlocks my passion to see others come to Him.

Mind-Bending Quote of the Day

"Abraham Lincoln had it right. Our task should not be to invoke religion and the name of God by claiming God's blessing and endorsement for all our national policies and practices--saying, in effect, that God is on our side. Rather, Lincoln said, we should pray and worry earnestly whether we are on God's side.
"Those are the two ways that religion has been brought into public life in American history. The first way--God on our side--leads inevitably to triumphalism, self-righteousness, bad theology, and, often, dangerous foreign policy. The second way--asking if we are on God's side--leads to much healthier things, namely, penitence and repentance, humility, reflection, and even accountability. We need much more of all these, because these are often the missing values of politics."

Jim Wallis
God's Politics: Why the Right Gets It Wrong and the Left Doesn't Get it

A Sweet Heart Makes Throwing Up a Bit Better

Our Family has been sick with a stomach bug over the last week. Gareth started throwing up first, then Josh, then my sister, Joy, and finally last night I started feeling gross around 9. Sure enough, just after 1 a.m. I woke up and spent much of the night on the bathroom floor.
This morning I was lying in bed drained and achy when Cecilia woke up and came into our room to see if we were awake and to say good morning.
"Good morning Cecilia" I replied, "Mom doesn't feel well this morning. I'm sick. I've been throwing up all night."
When she heard this she instantly got this look of concern on her face and said, "OH NO Mommy! You need me to tickle your back. That will make you feel better." And with that she climbed up in the bed with me and tickled my back for two to three minutes.
Later in the day when I was able to get up and come into the living room for a while, Cecilia asked me how I felt and then came over to feel if I had a fever. With her little hand on my forehand she said dramatically, "OH YES! You do have a fever! Oh no!" Then she gave me a kiss on my forehead.
Our daughter's sweet heart made my sick day much more bearable.

A Picture of Cecilia and I at Natural Bridge, VA

Our Cecilia is Building Her Mommy's Confidence...

It's no secret that Cecilia prefers Josh to everyone, including me. Over Christmas we told several funny stories to our family and friends about Cecilia declaring her adoration for her Daddy. Cecilia heard us tell these stories over and over and would laugh with everyone.
Toward the end of the holidays we visited my sister in Raleigh where we told the stories one more time. This time our friends asked me if her preference for Josh was hard for me.
To be honest it used to deeply bother me when Cecilia so obviously favored Josh. I felt like her favor for Josh meant that I wasn't a great mom. I resented her (and him) for wanting Josh to comfort her and wanting him to put her to bed. Kids are suppose to want their moms for stuff like that. But lately I've realized that there will be times in the life of our family when my kids do prefer me to Josh and times when they prefer him again, and maybe times when they don't prefer either of us (Josh and I constantly pray against this). It is great for both Josh and Cecilia to have this time in their relationship. Especially considering how troublesome later years might be for them...How many of our dad's lost their footing in the midst of our teen aged angst?
Anyway this is what I told our friends when they asked how I took Cecilia's worship of her father. Unbeknownst to us Cecilia had crawled out of bed and was listening to this explanation at the top of the stairs. We didn't think anything about it and sent her back to bed.
The next morning we were all eating breakfast together. I was reading why Time named Putin Man-of-the-Year when Cecilia, in a serious tone said, "I do love you, Mommy."
I looked up from my magazine a little confused and said, "Oh sweety, I love you too!" and glanced at Josh who also seemed a little lost at Cecilia's declaration.
"NO Mommy! I Love You! Your my favorite too! Not just Daddy!" She had this earnest look on her face as she spoke.
All the sudden it dawned on me what she was saying. She wanted me to know that in her heart she loved me as much as she loved her Dad and that while she may seemingly need Josh for more things, she did not prefer him to me. I started to cry and said something silly. I looked down into my Cinnamon Life cereal and tried to compose myself.
Now when I say goodbye to her I'll say, "Honey, I'll miss you." She replies back to me, "Oh, I'll miss you, Mommy, because you're my favorite too."
If only Simon and Garfunkel had known my sweet Cecilia...I think the song would have been different.

Gareth Gets a Big Boy Haircut!

We waited until Cecilia was 3 before we got her first haircut. Gareth's first trip to get quaffed was much different!
All in all I think Gareth did great. It took about 11 minutes (I edited the video) and the barber was AMAZING! Josh has been going to that barber shop since his first haircut, and Dennis has been cutting his hair for over 10 years. It took a few weeks for us to schedule an appointment, but I'm so glad we waited to take Gareth to Dennis. He was wonderful!
Gareth's makeover was certainly needed, and I think it makes him look much more professional; a force to reckoned with. He went from looking a bit goofy to appearing like he was about to mastermind a hostel take over. Big Boy territory here we come.

I HATE COMPUTERS!!!!
Nothing is more frustrating than spending 10+ hours on something and still not having it work! GRRRRR!

Crazy Hungry Pregnant Woman causes EXPLOSION!!

Leaving Church is never easy. I forget to take a snack to church and by the time we make our way to the car at 12:45 I'm starving and quite irrational. Cecilia is sobbing because she does not want to leave the extroverted gorge feast that is church. Gareth is discontent because he hates crowds and people freak him out. We shut the doors of our car with a sigh of relief and then the conversation inevitably turns to LUNCH!

Here is what I'm thinking-- "FOOD FOOD FOOD!!!! I need Food!" So I suggest we eat out. The thought of going home and fixing something is too much for my pregnant brain to handle. We can go somewhere cheap or share, but I need to go out.

Here is what I think Josh is thinking--"FOOTBALL. MONEY. FOOTBALL. MONEY." Playoffs are in full swing and my husband loves nothing more than the glory of watching the best teams of the league battle it out on their quest for super bowl glory. He also knows that we don't have the money to eat out, even cheaply.

So what happens? EXPLOSION!!! He tries to compromise. HUNGRY!! I shut down. He tries harder. Unable to think straight I stop talking and I roll my eyes (eek). He gets mean (double eek). We go home. I move into silence (I hate this about myself). Josh moves into absolute frustration and gets meaner (something he hates about himself). I cry. He leaves the room.

Suddenly the Spirit breaks through all the flesh. A clean and fresh wind enters our conversation. The cross grips us both and we are able to communicate what is really going on underneath the guise of food and football. Josh felt deeply disrespected (the eye roll). I felt uncared for and abused (the mean words). I was waiting for Josh to earn my respect before I gave it to him, he was waiting for me to act like a woman worthy of love before he moved in compassion toward me. FLESH!

God reminded us both that we are called to love and respect each other not because our spouse has earned those things but because our God has earned them. I worship a God who has earned my respect and so calls me to give respect to my husband. When I don't, regardless of how Josh is treating me, I sin. Josh knows a God that deserves all the love and compassion he can give, and God calls Josh to give that love to his wife. When he doesn't, he sins.

We confessed to each other and God. We ate lunch and watched football. We moved toward each other because God made it possible for us to do so.

Praise be to the God who breaks through our flesh and sin!