In Honor of GroundHog Day

Here are some Halloween photos. We were in PA with some friends. Cecilia was Snow White (I made her cloak) and Gareth was a lion. She had a much better time than he did, but they both enjoyed most of the trick-or-treating. For a few of the homeowners Gareth gave them a little roar. Both the kids got over two buckets of candy. We still have candy in the house.

Notes From a Cowering Evangelist

"Hello, my name's Lee and I'm ashamed of the gospel."
"Hello Lee."

The area of witness has always been a great source of shame for me. I've never had great evangelistic moments and I rarely feel an overwhelming desire to share my faith. Most of my conversations with non-Christians come out of a sense of duty more than a response to what God is doing in my life.
Paul's words in Romans 1 floor me--"I am not ashamed of the gospel because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes." So is my lack of passion for the lost an issue of shame? NOOOOO! I just never seem to be in random situations where Jesus comes up. Plus my evangelistic style is "interpersonal" so those crazy on-the-spot conversational moments just aren't my thing.
In the end, my meager, fear-based excuses for not making time to meet non-Christians or for ignoring moments when I felt like I should approach someone are more about my apathy toward what God has done in and for the world.
So I'm committing this year to grow in passion and boldness toward the lost around me. Josh and I are reading Re-Imagining Evangelism together and (we hope) with some friends. I'm praying that the Spirit will awaken me to what He is doing in those around me, and I'm trying to think about how I can get outside my house and my small group of friends in order to meet people who need to talk about Jesus. I would love for you to join me in praying that God unlocks my passion to see others come to Him.

Mind-Bending Quote of the Day

"Abraham Lincoln had it right. Our task should not be to invoke religion and the name of God by claiming God's blessing and endorsement for all our national policies and practices--saying, in effect, that God is on our side. Rather, Lincoln said, we should pray and worry earnestly whether we are on God's side.
"Those are the two ways that religion has been brought into public life in American history. The first way--God on our side--leads inevitably to triumphalism, self-righteousness, bad theology, and, often, dangerous foreign policy. The second way--asking if we are on God's side--leads to much healthier things, namely, penitence and repentance, humility, reflection, and even accountability. We need much more of all these, because these are often the missing values of politics."

Jim Wallis
God's Politics: Why the Right Gets It Wrong and the Left Doesn't Get it

A Sweet Heart Makes Throwing Up a Bit Better

Our Family has been sick with a stomach bug over the last week. Gareth started throwing up first, then Josh, then my sister, Joy, and finally last night I started feeling gross around 9. Sure enough, just after 1 a.m. I woke up and spent much of the night on the bathroom floor.
This morning I was lying in bed drained and achy when Cecilia woke up and came into our room to see if we were awake and to say good morning.
"Good morning Cecilia" I replied, "Mom doesn't feel well this morning. I'm sick. I've been throwing up all night."
When she heard this she instantly got this look of concern on her face and said, "OH NO Mommy! You need me to tickle your back. That will make you feel better." And with that she climbed up in the bed with me and tickled my back for two to three minutes.
Later in the day when I was able to get up and come into the living room for a while, Cecilia asked me how I felt and then came over to feel if I had a fever. With her little hand on my forehand she said dramatically, "OH YES! You do have a fever! Oh no!" Then she gave me a kiss on my forehead.
Our daughter's sweet heart made my sick day much more bearable.

A Picture of Cecilia and I at Natural Bridge, VA

Our Cecilia is Building Her Mommy's Confidence...

It's no secret that Cecilia prefers Josh to everyone, including me. Over Christmas we told several funny stories to our family and friends about Cecilia declaring her adoration for her Daddy. Cecilia heard us tell these stories over and over and would laugh with everyone.
Toward the end of the holidays we visited my sister in Raleigh where we told the stories one more time. This time our friends asked me if her preference for Josh was hard for me.
To be honest it used to deeply bother me when Cecilia so obviously favored Josh. I felt like her favor for Josh meant that I wasn't a great mom. I resented her (and him) for wanting Josh to comfort her and wanting him to put her to bed. Kids are suppose to want their moms for stuff like that. But lately I've realized that there will be times in the life of our family when my kids do prefer me to Josh and times when they prefer him again, and maybe times when they don't prefer either of us (Josh and I constantly pray against this). It is great for both Josh and Cecilia to have this time in their relationship. Especially considering how troublesome later years might be for them...How many of our dad's lost their footing in the midst of our teen aged angst?
Anyway this is what I told our friends when they asked how I took Cecilia's worship of her father. Unbeknownst to us Cecilia had crawled out of bed and was listening to this explanation at the top of the stairs. We didn't think anything about it and sent her back to bed.
The next morning we were all eating breakfast together. I was reading why Time named Putin Man-of-the-Year when Cecilia, in a serious tone said, "I do love you, Mommy."
I looked up from my magazine a little confused and said, "Oh sweety, I love you too!" and glanced at Josh who also seemed a little lost at Cecilia's declaration.
"NO Mommy! I Love You! Your my favorite too! Not just Daddy!" She had this earnest look on her face as she spoke.
All the sudden it dawned on me what she was saying. She wanted me to know that in her heart she loved me as much as she loved her Dad and that while she may seemingly need Josh for more things, she did not prefer him to me. I started to cry and said something silly. I looked down into my Cinnamon Life cereal and tried to compose myself.
Now when I say goodbye to her I'll say, "Honey, I'll miss you." She replies back to me, "Oh, I'll miss you, Mommy, because you're my favorite too."
If only Simon and Garfunkel had known my sweet Cecilia...I think the song would have been different.

Gareth Gets a Big Boy Haircut!

We waited until Cecilia was 3 before we got her first haircut. Gareth's first trip to get quaffed was much different!
All in all I think Gareth did great. It took about 11 minutes (I edited the video) and the barber was AMAZING! Josh has been going to that barber shop since his first haircut, and Dennis has been cutting his hair for over 10 years. It took a few weeks for us to schedule an appointment, but I'm so glad we waited to take Gareth to Dennis. He was wonderful!
Gareth's makeover was certainly needed, and I think it makes him look much more professional; a force to reckoned with. He went from looking a bit goofy to appearing like he was about to mastermind a hostel take over. Big Boy territory here we come.

I HATE COMPUTERS!!!!
Nothing is more frustrating than spending 10+ hours on something and still not having it work! GRRRRR!

Crazy Hungry Pregnant Woman causes EXPLOSION!!

Leaving Church is never easy. I forget to take a snack to church and by the time we make our way to the car at 12:45 I'm starving and quite irrational. Cecilia is sobbing because she does not want to leave the extroverted gorge feast that is church. Gareth is discontent because he hates crowds and people freak him out. We shut the doors of our car with a sigh of relief and then the conversation inevitably turns to LUNCH!

Here is what I'm thinking-- "FOOD FOOD FOOD!!!! I need Food!" So I suggest we eat out. The thought of going home and fixing something is too much for my pregnant brain to handle. We can go somewhere cheap or share, but I need to go out.

Here is what I think Josh is thinking--"FOOTBALL. MONEY. FOOTBALL. MONEY." Playoffs are in full swing and my husband loves nothing more than the glory of watching the best teams of the league battle it out on their quest for super bowl glory. He also knows that we don't have the money to eat out, even cheaply.

So what happens? EXPLOSION!!! He tries to compromise. HUNGRY!! I shut down. He tries harder. Unable to think straight I stop talking and I roll my eyes (eek). He gets mean (double eek). We go home. I move into silence (I hate this about myself). Josh moves into absolute frustration and gets meaner (something he hates about himself). I cry. He leaves the room.

Suddenly the Spirit breaks through all the flesh. A clean and fresh wind enters our conversation. The cross grips us both and we are able to communicate what is really going on underneath the guise of food and football. Josh felt deeply disrespected (the eye roll). I felt uncared for and abused (the mean words). I was waiting for Josh to earn my respect before I gave it to him, he was waiting for me to act like a woman worthy of love before he moved in compassion toward me. FLESH!

God reminded us both that we are called to love and respect each other not because our spouse has earned those things but because our God has earned them. I worship a God who has earned my respect and so calls me to give respect to my husband. When I don't, regardless of how Josh is treating me, I sin. Josh knows a God that deserves all the love and compassion he can give, and God calls Josh to give that love to his wife. When he doesn't, he sins.

We confessed to each other and God. We ate lunch and watched football. We moved toward each other because God made it possible for us to do so.

Praise be to the God who breaks through our flesh and sin!