Fearing God-The Confession

It is about 6 o’clock on a chilly morning. I am awakened all of the sudden for no apparent reason, and as I’m trying to settle down to go back to sleep, I hear the Lord’s invitation to get up and pray with Him. I look at the clock, consider the chill, and as I’m rolling over I say, “Sorry God, why don't you come back in 30 minutes, we'll pray then.” I drift back to sleep.

Rewind about a year and I’m standing in my new church having just taken communion. The week had been really hard. A crisis of faith had left me feeling worn thin and bruised. The pastor of my church gets up and says, “Sometimes taking communion can cause some intense things to come up. If you need to, the elders will be off to the side to pray with you.” As he spoke I felt the Lord's invitation again, “You should go and get prayer, you’ve had a tough week.”

I considered the suggestion a moment and then responded, “Nah, that’s ok. I don’t need to.” He gently encouraged me again to get prayer, “Nope. I really don’t think I need to.” 

Then He got firm. “Go And Get Prayer.” 

To which I literally crossed my arms over my chest and said, “I AM NOT GETTING PRAYER.”

These two stories (and many others) are like red flags in my life. Places of distress or indicators that things are not as they should be. These two stories point to a very serious  problem.

I do not fear the Lord. 

Some one who tells the all powerful God to come back when it suited their schedule, does not have a healthy understanding of who God is. Someone who would casually and obstinately cross their arms and tell God "NO"-the same God that created said person, that redeemed said person and that could END said person-that someone needs to consider what a healthy fear of the Lord looks like.

Proverbs 1:7 tells me that, "The FEAR of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge." 

I want to learn to fear the Lord. And even though I'm anxious about this part of God, I want to know the God that deserves my fear.