It's no secret that Cecilia prefers Josh to everyone, including me. Over Christmas we told several funny stories to our family and friends about Cecilia declaring her adoration for her Daddy. Cecilia heard us tell these stories over and over and would laugh with everyone.
Toward the end of the holidays we visited my sister in Raleigh where we told the stories one more time. This time our friends asked me if her preference for Josh was hard for me.
To be honest it used to deeply bother me when Cecilia so obviously favored Josh. I felt like her favor for Josh meant that I wasn't a great mom. I resented her (and him) for wanting Josh to comfort her and wanting him to put her to bed. Kids are suppose to want their moms for stuff like that. But lately I've realized that there will be times in the life of our family when my kids do prefer me to Josh and times when they prefer him again, and maybe times when they don't prefer either of us (Josh and I constantly pray against this). It is great for both Josh and Cecilia to have this time in their relationship. Especially considering how troublesome later years might be for them...How many of our dad's lost their footing in the midst of our teen aged angst?
Anyway this is what I told our friends when they asked how I took Cecilia's worship of her father. Unbeknownst to us Cecilia had crawled out of bed and was listening to this explanation at the top of the stairs. We didn't think anything about it and sent her back to bed.
The next morning we were all eating breakfast together. I was reading why Time named Putin Man-of-the-Year when Cecilia, in a serious tone said, "I do love you, Mommy."
I looked up from my magazine a little confused and said, "Oh sweety, I love you too!" and glanced at Josh who also seemed a little lost at Cecilia's declaration.
"NO Mommy! I Love You! Your my favorite too! Not just Daddy!" She had this earnest look on her face as she spoke.
All the sudden it dawned on me what she was saying. She wanted me to know that in her heart she loved me as much as she loved her Dad and that while she may seemingly need Josh for more things, she did not prefer him to me. I started to cry and said something silly. I looked down into my Cinnamon Life cereal and tried to compose myself.
Now when I say goodbye to her I'll say, "Honey, I'll miss you." She replies back to me, "Oh, I'll miss you, Mommy, because you're my favorite too."
If only Simon and Garfunkel had known my sweet Cecilia...I think the song would have been different.
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