I started my day at a park and set my chair beside a calm stream that was full of ducks and geese. I was spending time that day dwelling on my thirst for God. I've not been very thirsty over the past month and want to grow in my desire for time with my heavenly Father as the baby comes and life gets hectic.
I opened up my Bible to Psalm One. It seemed fitting considering my setting. These verses stuck out to me:
"Blessed is he who's delight is in the Law of the Lord
and in this Law he meditates day and night.
He will be like a tree planted by the streams of water
which yields it's fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither--
Whatever he does prospers..."
I was sitting right next to some lovely trees that were, like the tree mentioned above, planted right on the water, yet they did not seem to be teeming with life as the Psalm suggests they should. They still seemed dead from the winter cold. There were no fruit or flowers, no leaves-nothing to communicate that there was actual life in those trees.
When I think about the journey God has been taking me on in the area of Evangelism and Witness I relate to what I saw in these trees. I have been trying to adhere to the wisdom of this scripture. I've been trying to delight in God's Word and meditate on what is has to say about Witness. I've been thinking about it often, reading about it and talking it over with others on the road. In light of this I want the promise that comes with this blessing; to be planted by a nourishing stream, to be productive at just the right moment, to have a long-lasting effect. But for now I feel like these trees looked; Dead.
Maybe winter was too long or too severe. Maybe my root system doesn't really meet the water's edge and I'm missing all that life-giving water. Or what I really fear is that I'm just too dead. I'm too broken on the inside to fully be the kind of tree I dream of. Maybe the abundant life of witness and walking with the Spirit in unity and purpose is only for those who are more faithful, more holy, more something... but not me.
As I sat there and confessed this fear to God I waited for Him to speak to my heart. He called me to see those trees with His eyes--to see past the physical and obvious. To see into the tree itself, where life is teeming and brimming close to the surface. Nothing can be seen from the outside yet things are happening. Groundwork is being laid. The soil and water is strengthening. The Sun is feeding and warming. Life is just below the surface preparing to explode out in a dramatic display of color and joy when the moment is just right.
God called me to look closer at myself as well. I am not dead nor I am too broken! The Spirit has not yet chosen to grow obvious, physical fruit in this area of my discipleship, but He is strengthening me, nourishing me, teaching me and giving me a passion and a vision. He is giving me a deep calling and promises an inheritance among the nations.
So, I will put my trust in the good and faithful Gardener who tends the vine and promises me a good and hearty season, and I will be patient for when that season joyfully arrives.
and in this Law he meditates day and night.
He will be like a tree planted by the streams of water
which yields it's fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither--
Whatever he does prospers..."
I was sitting right next to some lovely trees that were, like the tree mentioned above, planted right on the water, yet they did not seem to be teeming with life as the Psalm suggests they should. They still seemed dead from the winter cold. There were no fruit or flowers, no leaves-nothing to communicate that there was actual life in those trees.When I think about the journey God has been taking me on in the area of Evangelism and Witness I relate to what I saw in these trees. I have been trying to adhere to the wisdom of this scripture. I've been trying to delight in God's Word and meditate on what is has to say about Witness. I've been thinking about it often, reading about it and talking it over with others on the road. In light of this I want the promise that comes with this blessing; to be planted by a nourishing stream, to be productive at just the right moment, to have a long-lasting effect. But for now I feel like these trees looked; Dead.
Maybe winter was too long or too severe. Maybe my root system doesn't really meet the water's edge and I'm missing all that life-giving water. Or what I really fear is that I'm just too dead. I'm too broken on the inside to fully be the kind of tree I dream of. Maybe the abundant life of witness and walking with the Spirit in unity and purpose is only for those who are more faithful, more holy, more something... but not me.
As I sat there and confessed this fear to God I waited for Him to speak to my heart. He called me to see those trees with His eyes--to see past the physical and obvious. To see into the tree itself, where life is teeming and brimming close to the surface. Nothing can be seen from the outside yet things are happening. Groundwork is being laid. The soil and water is strengthening. The Sun is feeding and warming. Life is just below the surface preparing to explode out in a dramatic display of color and joy when the moment is just right.
God called me to look closer at myself as well. I am not dead nor I am too broken! The Spirit has not yet chosen to grow obvious, physical fruit in this area of my discipleship, but He is strengthening me, nourishing me, teaching me and giving me a passion and a vision. He is giving me a deep calling and promises an inheritance among the nations.
So, I will put my trust in the good and faithful Gardener who tends the vine and promises me a good and hearty season, and I will be patient for when that season joyfully arrives.
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