Warning: Prayer Can Cause Hyperventilation

I am reading a great book (that I'll talk more about in a later post), "Finding God at Home." The author encourages believers to start practicing "quiet prayer" everyday. This type of prayer is also called "breath prayer" and has been around for centuries. It is a form of prayer that you link to your breathing. So when you breath in, you pray a word or phrase and when you breath out, you pray another word or phrase. Over and over with the rhythm of your breathing.

Since I've been trying to grow in prayer and I think this dude is a GENIUS! I have committed to try and practice this way of prayer for a week, 7 days, and then think about a further commitment.

Here is my experience from day one:

Instruction from the book (in italics):"My first suggestion for [practicing the spirituality of the family] is with a prayer of quiet. For this, take a few minutes alone in a room where you will not be disturbed... hmmm...I am not sure this exists in my home. I am never alone, never undisturbed. Maybe under my bed, or in my closet. I ponder where I could go as I continue to read.

"The morning is the best, before beginning work..." hmmm, the AM around our house seems like the most disturbed part of our day. Everyone running around getting dressed, going to the potty, trying to play, brushing their hair, can't find their shoe. And I could try to get up before the little ones, but they can smell awakeness like sharks can smell blood in the water. The moment one adult foot hits the floor no matter what time it is, Gareth and Audrey are up and ready for the day to start. Any other suggestions?

"Other good times are at noon or in the early evening--or whenever you have a few moments to yourself..."Ok, so lunchtime or when we are doing homework/dinner prep...sigh...early morning it is. I'll just warn Josh that I'm going to try praying early in the AM and could he please keep the kids away for... how long does book suggest?...20 MINUTES! OK (sigh), for 20 minutes. Joshua is great in the AM. He can handle it!

"Take the phone of the hook..."No one is going to call at 6:40 in the morning so I'll skip this step.

"find a chair that is comfortable but not too comfortable"Would he consider the bed TOO comfortable? Ah well...the bed it is!

"close your eyes and take several slow, deep breaths to relax."Mmmmmm....relax....WAKE UP!

"Then slowly, without forcing it, begin to repeat a short prayer to yourself...For this prayer of quiet, the shorter the prayer, the better. A single word is ideal." I guess I'll go with Jesus. It is always the best answer, right? Jesus it is!

"Repeat your little prayer silently to yourself. Try repeating it each time you breathe in and again each time you breathe out.

Ok here we go. Breathe in, Jesus. Breathe out, Jesus. Breath in, Jesus. Breathe out, Jesus. Breath in, Jesus. (The door to our room opens) Breathe out, stay focused. (little steps come toward the bed) Breathe in, don't move. Breathe out, they will think I'm still asleep and will leave. (little breathing beside my bed, I can tell they are staring at me, I wonder which little breath it is, but I don't open my eyes) Breathe in, they are leaving. Breath out, what am I doing? OH YEAH! Breathe in, Jesus. Breath out. Jesus. Breathe in, Jesus. Breath out. (little steps again come into the room) Breathe in, Jesus. Breath out. (Little hands grab my arm and start to pull themselves up)

Breath in, OUCH! Breathe out, "Gareth, get the stool to get in mommy's bed, sweety." Breathe in, snuggle up to Gareth. Breathe out, Jesus. Breathe in. Breathe out, Jesus. Breathe in, Jesus. Breath out, doze off for a couple of minutes. Breathe in, WAKE UP. Breathe out, Jesus. Breathe in, Jesus. Breathe out. Breath in. Breathe out, Jesus. Breathe in, Jesus. Breathe out, "Mommy, when will all my teeth fall out?" Brea...WHAT?

The question is repeated. "Gareth are you asking when you will lose your front two teeth like Cecilia? You won't start losing your teeth until your 5 or 6." Breathe in, Gareth starts crying. Breathe out, Gareth decides to get up. Breathe in, breath out Jesus, breathe in. Jesus, Breathe out, Breathe out, Jesus...

And somewhere along the way I forgot how to breathe.

Long breathes in, a short one out. Someone yelling about having to go to school. Jesus. Trying to find a rhythm to my breath. Breath in, out, in, Jesus, out, Jesus...And then I am thinking so hard about how to breathe and when to say Jesus, and how much longer is 20 minutes that I can't seem to breathe at all. I quickly sit up in bed! Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

7:03

Jesus!

There is a reason that breath prayer takes years of practice. Hopefully I'll try again tomorrow.